April 24, 2019 – Click here to listen
Yesterday I received quite a bit of mail concerning the forgiveness post. Most of us focus on the extremely difficult task of somehow forgiving someone who has greatly wronged us. However, there is another side to forgiveness and that is forgiving oneself. Jack “Murf the Surf” Murphy wrote to me about this subject yesterday: “One of the consistent hang-ups we hear from inmates in prison ministry is their problem with forgiving themselves . . . ”
I’ve spoken to several inmates who got drunk and behind the wheel of an automobile and had an accident and someone got killed. Yes, they felt bad about being incarcerated, but the most difficult thing is always having on their mind that they were responsible for taking an innocent life. The family in most cases cannot bring themselves to forgive the inmate, but even if they do it is little solace to them because they are tormented by day and especially at night by what they have done.
I believe that the Apostle Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” that he mentioned could have been this problem. I wonder as he laid in bed if he ever thought of all of the Christians that were tortured and martyred under his watch. I talked to noted Bible teacher Kay Arthur about not being able to forgive myself of some of the heinous things I had done and mentioned this concept to her. She disagreed and said she thought the “thorn in his flesh” was his eyesight going bad she reminded me he did famously say in Phil. 3:13, No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead . . . She told me to take that advice. I respect Kay Arthur but still look forward to asking Paul about it when I get to heaven.
It isn’t just former inmates that suffer from such feelings, in fact, I would wager to say that all people have done things that they would give anything if they could just go back in time and take a different route, but sadly that is seldom an option and apologies seem to fall mostly on deaf ears. Those who have been wronged by someone’s actions against them must deal with their heartbreak and pain, and those who wronged them must deal with theirs. It can be an obsessive, all-consuming fire that burns away our lives and prevents us from knowing any joy or peace.
God loves us and doesn’t want us to be filled with bitterness, pain, and in many cases downright hatred. So, what is the solution? I have been greatly wronged by some people in life, and I have greatly wronged others, particularly in my young wild rebellious years. The answer like so many things in life is to focus on Jesus. Spiritual warfare for the most part is fought in our minds. The “forgiveness issue” is spiritual warfare in its purest form. We can combat it by adhering to passages like Phil. 4:8 – Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Keep God in your thoughts and expel Satan. If you catch yourself drifting toward how badly you were treated or how you treated others Satan will win the battle for your joy.
No one is saying this is easy; in fact, it takes self-discipline, determination, faith, prayer, and courage. And if all of that sounds like too big a task for you, it probably is. But fortunately, you don’t have to struggle with it alone. The Holy Spirit is also known as the Comforter and He is with you always and as His name implies, He will comfort you if you will surrender your burden to Him. Have faith! Remember what Jesus said, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Life is too short to spend it with your stomach in a knot and grinding your teeth to powder. Let it go my friends, whichever side of the fence you are on. Believe that God will help you and know that He desires to do so. Pray specifically for forgiveness relief.
Luke 18:27
“The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.”