April 23, 2019 – Click here to listen
Many times Christians have tremendous difficulty in forgiving those who have wronged them. They might even struggle with it for many years even as they keep trying to forgive. They frequently assume that there is something wrong with them as being hardhearted and otherwise unloving. They fault themselves for not being able to forgive others. Perhaps these unforgiving Christians are trying to do something that God has not called them to do. Perhaps one-sided forgiveness is actually impossible in the absence of an essential ingredient of forgiveness.
In my Bible study of Luke Chapter 17 today I was intrigued by Jesus describing forgiveness. “And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you saying, ‘I REPENT’ you shall forgive him. (I highlighted repent.)
I’ve wondered about this quite often. God doesn’t forgive unrepented sin and therefore how could He reasonably require His children to do something He is unwilling to do? I don’t think He would. God has a forgiving spirit and we should also have one. He loves people unconditionally and He does not hold a grudge. He is ready and willing to forgive people when they repent. Christians are to have this same love for one another. The Bible teaches us to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, do good to those who hate us, and pray for those who spitefully use us and persecute us. Peter teaches us not to render evil for evil. If someone sins against us, we cannot hold a grudge against them. We cannot harbor evil thoughts against them or treat them badly, but we should not proclaim forgiveness to those who have not repented. If we forgive them, then in essence we mark them blameless and we do away with our responsibilities as Christians.
Consider these verses:
2 Chronicles 7:14 states: When my people turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and heal their land.
1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us our sins…
The Bible does teach us in James 5:19 that we must try to restore those that have been overtaken by sin, My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, consider this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and cover over a multitude of sins . . .
Matthew 18:15 outlines the steps that should be taken when our brother sins against us. “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, then you have gained your brother. “But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ “And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”
Based on all of this it seems forgiveness must be accompanied by repentance. Please note I’m talking about a Christian who has sinned against you, meaning they have committed a Biblical sin against you. I am not talking about a misunderstanding or hurt feelings. This type of offense should probably be best overlooked by brotherly love and truthfully all are guilty of it at some point.
So is an apology enough? The answer is, “What do you mean when you apologize?” If in your heart, an apology is equal to the definition of repenting, then an apology is enough. If you know your apology does not rise to the level of repentance, then you must repent. If you are the wronged person, forgive. Take their apology as an opportunity to move on in your own life. You can judge another’s actions, but you cannot know someone’s heart. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart. From your heart, let go and move on. If you are the person who does the wrong, ask yourself what your apology means. Repentance or not?
Luke 13:3
I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.