I spoke with a young gal the other day who asked me to pray for her regarding the possible recurrence of a brain tumor. It was successfully treated with radiation over seven years ago, but due to various symptoms she fears it might be back. Having been misdiagnosed with a brain tumor myself when I was a young man, and knowing first-hand how it makes one feel to face brain cancer, I was impressed that she did not fear for her life and was in fact very calm about the situation.
This young lady was the server for my table and in a few minutes came back and asked me to pray for her about another matter too. She wanted me to pray that she could quit hating someone that had once been near and dear to her. This time she teared up as she angrily choked out words describing how badly this guy had treated her and her young child and that she hated him for it.
On the surface one would look at this with wonder and as a complete oxymoron. First she discusses the possibility of her brain tumor being back and with it the potential of facing her own death, and she did so in a calm rational manner, but when describing the hurt inflicted by her “ex”, she passionately blurted out words of pent up rage and heart felt emotion, (hate).
After writing this column five days per week and receiving a steady salvo of feedback for some 16 years now, I can confidently state that forgiveness is the most difficult command to live up to that most folks will ever face in their lives. Indeed it is very difficult to forgive those that have done us wrong.
The Bible states in Matthew 6:14, “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Matthew Henry said of this verse: “Here is a promise, if you forgive, then your heavenly Father will also forgive. We must forgive, as we hope to be forgiven. Those who desire to find mercy with God must show mercy to their brethren. Christ came into the world as the great Peace-maker, not only to reconcile us to God, but to one another.”
It makes sense intellectually, but is so-o-o-ooooo difficult to actually pull off. I face the same problem and have found that it is far easier to accomplish forgiveness if we aren’t consumed by the injustice wrought upon us and constantly harping about it. Why waste a bunch of time reliving it over and over in your mind and worrying about it? What is done is done, and all of the hate in the world will not change anything. Forgive the person their faults and weaknesses and move on and quit worrying about that jerk.
I told the young gal that it is impossible to drive forward without crashing if both of her eyes are constantly looking in the rear view mirror. It is a sin to withhold forgiveness and the consequence of that sin is to fill us with constant pain, much like a sand spur in our underwear – it is a pain in the butt and simply will not go away until (and unless) we remove it!
The apostle Paul told us to look forward and not behind for just such a reason. I admit that I find it difficult to do in my own life too. Difficulty does not equate to impossibility however; and it can be accomplished. Intense prayer and a keen desire to move on with our lives in peace are critical keys.
It takes work, but it does work! Incidentally it has great benefits too – I’ve never regretted forgiving someone, but I’ve known misery, (sometimes for years), prior to doing so. In other words forgiveness is more about you and less about the other person. It sets YOU free.
The tough things in life can be accomplished, but sometimes the task is so monumental that much prayer and fasting are necessary. The Bible assures us in Phil. 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. It is He that brought the idea of forgiveness to the world. I’m so glad He did.
This is important, so please pay attention: We as His loyal followers should emulate Him in every way and particularly in the area of forgiveness. It is a big deal to our Savior; He gave his life for it.
Please join me in praying for this young lady this morning and asking our Father to heal her brain tumor and her broken heart . . .
Go to church this Sunday at Honey Lake Church, or the church of your choice.
Col. 3:13
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
July 18, 2014 – Click here to listen