Talking to God on the Computer

Oct

17

2023

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Oct

17

2023

A couple of years back I was recording Words for the Day for the audio feature and my radio segment and unbeknownst to me my little granddaughter had gotten up early and come downstairs and overheard me recording it. Later she reported to her mother that, “Papaw was in his office talking to his computer about God.”

Months later one of my grandsons was visiting and like my granddaughter he eased up to my office door without me seeing him and listened in on a phone conversation I was having. He overheard me yelling at my creative design vendor who would not stop talking long enough for me to explain a project to him. My grandson’s mother who watched the incident took a photo of him listening in on me with wide eyes and later even posted it on Facebook.

Ugh!

I would have much preferred that my grandson would have heard me “talking to my computer about God” than losing my temper and going off on someone who had aggravated me beyond my limit. I’m not around my grandchildren that often, or any kids for that matter, but when I am I try my utmost to watch what I say. As I thought about this, there is never an appropriate time to make a comment like that, child present or not. Thus, I have vowed to work hard to curb that type of behavior. It serves no purpose and negates any Godly testimony one might have.

I’ve battled a foul temper and bad language most of my life. Through the years I’ve worn rubber bands on my wrists and snapped them as punishment when I say something crude, fined myself money which I give to the needy, pulled my hair, and pinched myself hard, but nothing ever seems to permanently work.

I’ve prayed often about it, but my flesh seems to get the best of me at times. For example, one time I had a six-pound bass named Brutus in a very large aquarium in my office. Next to him in a cage was a beautiful Macaw named Pete housed in it that was very loud. I was on the phone with one of my employees and was reading him the riot act for a bonehead decision he made. He started arguing with me and I went ballistic and started screaming at him. Brutus got very agitated and started rapidly swimming back and forth. Simultaneously the Macaw started screaming for all he was worth. I was going after Pete with a fly swatter and just then Brutus jumped out of his aquarium and was flopping all over my office. I was still yelling at the employee while trying to catch the fish and get him back in his aquarium with Pete screaming his head off. Finally, I got order restored. I wonder what God was thinking of my outrageous behavior, (rhetorical question).

The Apostle Paul who himself was frequently led into temper tantrums, ill-chosen words, and actions which he did not approve had similar frustrations when he wrote in Romans 17:5: “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” I believe that hating sin and wanting to achieve a higher form of holiness is confirmation that we have a part in the salvation of the gospel, but that is no excuse for bad behavior.

I want to fight this beast but I’m afraid he is getting the best of me far too often. Fighting evil is done almost exclusively in the mind. Our thoughts guide our actions which are controlled within the mind. Romans 8:5 – Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.

I suppose the answer to improving our behavior is to pray long and hard for strength from Christ to get our minds right. As an aside, today I go in for my liver biopsy. Ugh! I had one several years ago and it did not feel good. Whatever, I will get it done and move on from there. I wonder if God will discuss my behavior when I see Him in paradise. Gulp!

Phil. 4:8
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

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