September 17, 2021 – Click here to listen
The most difficult time in my life, (and I have had many), was when my brother committed suicide. I have not experienced such grief nor wept like that before or since. After his death, I remember lying on my bed with the shades drawn all by myself and rethinking our life together. We faced tough times and good times together. We had our sibling rivalries to be sure, but I can say that we always deeply loved each other.
As I grieved him, I remembered playing together as children, hunting, fishing, playing sports, laughing together until our sides nearly split, playing guitar, and singing together. I remembered our reputation in school was not to mess with one of the Williamsons unless you were prepared to deal with both of the Williamsons. We stuck together.
As I laid there, I began to think about the days ahead, including attending his funeral and burial. I think one of the saddest things in the world is for a family to experience suicide. I agonized over what I might have done to somehow have averted this tragedy.
I absolutely dreaded going to that funeral and as I laid there in the darkness of my room, I prayed in deep anguish that God would give me the strength to get me through it somehow. God gently reminded me of the time that my brother came to Atlanta and got down on his knees and accepted Jesus as His Savior and asked for forgiveness and how he was wonderfully saved and later baptized with his wife and young son. The Lord also reminded me “nothing” can ever take away one of His children from Him in this world or the next. Once saved always saved! As I laid there in my grief, I visualized Jim in heaven being cared for by Jesus Christ, free at last from his depression and tortured existence on this earth.
I thought of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. He was in anguish because He knew all the terrible things that He was soon going to experience. The Bible states that Jesus prayed so intensely that He sweated blood. Can you imagine? In the end God answered His prayer and God gave Him the strength to endure His brutal crucifixion and Jesus went on to face His ordeal comforted in the knowledge that His resurrection in three days was a foregone conclusion.
Some have told me that anyone who commits suicide goes to hell for that grievous sin. I believe that to be rubbish and I know that Jesus died for our sins regardless of their nature. I witnessed my brother confess his sins and ask for forgiveness on his knees. I know he closely followed Jesus for some time, but when his little five year old boy died and his marriage consequently fell apart it was more than he could bear. He turned to drugs and alcohol to drown his pain and in a moment of anguish violently ended his life.
Yes, suicide is a sin but so is lust, cheating on taxes, getting angry, coveting, greed, lying, and on and on. We do the best we can as Christians, but we all sin. Jesus’s love transcends sin. Jesus was willing to take our punishment. He was gentle, humble, and radiated compassion and love from His every fiber, even asking God to forgive those who crucified Him because they did not know what they were doing.
As I think back to the days after Jim’s suicide as I laid on my bed and wondered if I would have the courage and strength to get through his funeral and burial without completely breaking down, it reminds me of Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane praying for strength and courage to endure His moment on the cross. I realize that the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made that day some 2000 years ago and His resurrection three days later made it possible for us to have the courage and strength to face the cruel death of a loved one or anything else that Satan can conjure up to torment us with because Jesus Christ has ARISEN!
Death has been defeated and we can look to that for our comfort! This life can no longer defeat any Christian, even when we make mistakes of the most severe nature. Death has lost its sting.
If you appreciate what God did for you, then tell others about it! Go tell it on the mountain and everywhere!
Mark 16:15
And He said to them, “Go into
all of the world and preach the gospel
to every creature.
He who believes and is baptized
will be saved; but he who does
not believe will be condemned.
Have a great weekend and go to church this Sunday!