July 28, 2021 – Click here to listen
I have an acquaintance with whom I simply cannot effectively communicate and/or get along; this despite determined, sincere, and well-meaning effort on my part to do so. Recently we had another telephone melee, (one of many). After we hung up, in total exasperation I went whining to my wife about it. She had heard this about this fellow many times in the past and apparently was annoyed that yet again I was interrupting her to complain about this same issue.
She coldly looked at me, (with a look which can accurately be described as totally devoid of any sympathy whatsoever), and asked, “Bob have you ever considered the possibility that this guy just does not like you?”
“Huh?” I innocently responded, “Not like me? What is not to like?”
She rolled her eyes skyward and snapped, “Just stay away from him already!”, and went back to reading her book. I indignantly stalked to another room to brood alone (where I could get the sympathy that I deserved from within).
As I thought about it, I came to the stunning conclusion that despite my charming demeanor that he may not like me. I didn’t like him, and I supposed it was possible that he felt the same about me.
As I reflected further about my situation I thought of the lowly barnacle in the sea and how I am like a barnacle. A barnacle secretes mucous to cement itself to things like the bottom of a boat and is not just disliked, it’s hated by boat owners who must scrape them off. But on the brighter side, it is loved by other barnacles who join it. It is also loved by the Parrot Fish and other tropical fish that feed upon them. And then there are some folks such as those of you reading this who are entirely ambivalent about barnacles and could care less about them one way or the other.
I don’t think that there is anything a barnacle can do to change its situation. So, if I am akin to a barnacle, why should I get worked up about it. My barnacle theory dictates that I will be loved/liked/disliked/hated by some, and others could care less and there is little I can do to change that situation; thus, I will cease to get riled up about it.
So, what to do? When I face difficult and dark problems, I always try to look towards Jesus Christ and ask myself what He would do in similar circumstances. Jesus was the personification of love and goodness and was loved by some, and yet He was disliked immensely and even hated and despised by others. Despite the ill will vented towards Him, Jesus bore nothing but love towards those who despised Him, and even when He was on the cross at the height of His suffering, He asked God to forgive those who were beating, cursing, spitting upon, and crucifying Him.
If Jesus is willing to forgive them and bear no ill will, where does that leave me? The Bible tells us that in as much as is within our control we should “try” to get along with everyone. We cannot make everyone like us or control how they feel, thus that is out of our control. Our responsibility is to put forth a sincere effort to get along with everyone. Make the effort and if unsuccessful, don’t fret over it or hold a grudge; forgive and forget. We should look to Jesus Christ to guide us in tough situations.
And as a practical matter of living a peaceful existence, I suppose that, ahem, I must consider the possibility, (remote as it may be), that just maybe my wife might be right about this. And since it is obvious that this dude and I cannot get along, perhaps I should just avoid him entirely, and thereby forego the inevitable bickering that is ever-present during our interaction. Duhhh . . .
Colossians 3:12
Therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.