December 12, 2019 – Click here to listen
So today is my anniversary. We’ve been married 49 years. A friend wrote to congratulate me this morning and told me that my wife should be nominated for sainthood for putting up with me for so many years. Hmmm . . . I’m thinking he is right of course, but it was very unkind of him to point it out.
Unfortunately, most of my friends have not fared so well in their marriages, some are divorced and living alone, others are working on their third or fourth marriage. So why was our marriage different. As I look back upon those many years, we could have easily gone our separate ways on several occasions. We are subjected to the same stressful problems, imperfections, temptations, and disagreements as others, but we remained together.
Why?
We love each other and are best friends, and we also deeply love our kids and have often put them far above ourselves. I could never in good conscience abandon them in some selfish move. Most of all the Bible states it is a sin to divorce someone. I believe that God wants us to use common sense on this. He does not want us to stay married to someone who routinely uses them for a punching bag or other unconscionable offenses.
Some of my friends have opted to leave their spouse for a younger, better looking alternative. This has not seemed to work out too well for the majority of them. In time physical beauty fades like a beautiful flower in the hot sun, it is the inner beauty that seems to never stop radiating.
I can name a dozen or more things that I wish my wife would change and she could probably name 100 or more about me. One day God opened my eyes to the fact that she is not perfect, and I darned sure am not. He also added that I cannot always get my own way, which meant if I wanted to keep from snapping like a pine tree in heavy winds, I would have to bend like a reed. Oh my gosh! This means I can’t always get my way and must consider someone else!
At some point I remember consciously deciding that we could use guns, knives, fists, arm wrestling, or water pistols to settle grievances, but we would not consider divorce nor mention it as a threat to end a dispute. Compromise has worked well for us.
With all that said after nearly 50 years now those times of heated discussion have been minimal compared to the decades of being together. I hope if you are struggling in your marriage or know someone who is that you might reflect on this post today. As I approach the end of my life, I can think of no better person to have coffee with each morning and laugh and talk, share our golden moments, and pray together. I would think that everybody needs this in their life.
Mark 10:9:
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”