I woke up dead tired this morning.
That ain’t good . . .
I also have a headache.
That ain’t good.
I’ve been thinking about my day and anticipating that it will be lousy. I just checked and I have 263 unanswered e-mails, numerous texts, important phone calls that need to be returned, and several meetings scheduled that on the face of it sound as though I’ll be bored to tears.
I feel overwhelmed and discouraged and that is no way to start my day.
I read about some soldiers that were on top of a mountain that were completely surrounded by enemies. They had fought bravely and fiercely, but had completely run out of ammo and the enemy was advancing. It appeared as though they would die on that nondescript mountain in the middle of that jungle, but just then they heard the familiar whop – whop – whop of several rescue helicopters that landed and lifted them up and whisked them away to safety.
I feel like those soldiers. I’ve been savagely fighting but I’m losing the battle and worse I’ve completely run out of ammo. Now I’m completely surrounded by the enemy, but I don’t hear any familiar whop – whop – whop sound of a rescue team coming to whisk me away.
So I poured my heart out to God this morning and asked for some help.
Silence . . .
I know He hears me and I know He loves me, so why doesn’t He help?
I dunno . . .
I suppose He has His reasons. Perhaps He’s testing my faith; perhaps I need a little refining like dross being burned away from gold in the refinement process; perhaps He’s saying, “You think this is bad, you ain’t seen nothing yet”!
Yikes!
Sigh . . . I need ammo; I need reinforcements; I need some help!
I was thinking about Jesus on the cross when He took on the sins of the world and God who is Holy had to turn His back on Him. He exclaimed, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”
Yep, that’s how I feel in my puny little way.
In the Garden of Gethsemane every description given of the state of mind in which our Lord approached the cross, proves the tremendous nature of the assault, and the perfect foreknowledge of its terrors possessed by the meek and humble Jesus. He prayed so hard as He envisioned what was to come that He literally began perspiring large drops of blood. He uttered, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet nonetheless I want your will to be done, not mine.”
Hmmm . . . In order to accomplish His divine purpose of defeating sin and death and reconciling mankind to Himself, God allowed His beloved Son to suffer as none has suffered before Him. Jesus who mysteriously was God but also flesh did not want to go through it and actively petitioned God to take it away from Him.
I feel guilty whining about my problems and asking God to hurry up and get some ammo and/or helicopters heading my way or perhaps a battalion of angels to rout the enemy, but the example Jesus set paves the way to this being perfectly acceptable behavior. I have every right to ask God to help me and I’m going to continue to petition God to do so and to hurry up. I need some relief.
But God has every right to deny my request and/or delay it until His divine purpose is accomplished. I report to Him and not vice versa.
Huh?
Yes I heard correctly . . . Lord I’ll add the caveat that “nonetheless Your will be done and not mine”.
He might continue to allow me to suffer and even intensify it and though I don’t understand that position at this point in my life where I’m trying to do His work and not my own, nor do I understand His silence, or why He is withholding the help I need, I reluctantly but willingly accept it. And though tired and worn out will continue to fight until my last breath has been drawn.
End of discussion . . .
If you are depressed this morning I’m sorry if this post adds to it, but I suppose the old adage that misery loves company rings true. Romans 8:22 “For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time”. Okay I’ve groaned long enough. I think I’ll go try to call up a turkey this morning. My luck I’ll get snake bit; nonetheless Lord your will be done and not mine . . .
Arghhh . . .
Onward!
John 6:29
Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”
March 26, 2014 – Click here to listen