A good friend stopped by yesterday and I tried my utmost to convince him to feel sorry for me, but alas he remained unsympathetic. I’m working 18-20 hour days and yesterday told my wife that I thought I was going to have a heart attack if God didn’t slow down with sending blessing after blessing to our ministry.
It’s one thing for God to send all of these important leaders; it is another matter to meet with them all and brief them for hour upon hour on our plans and assimilate their contributions and resources into the game plan and simultaneously manage my life in a sane manner.
My friend looked at me coldly and told me to “man up” and quit my whining.
Huh?
Easy for him to say while working his “comfortable” job with his huge staff to whom he can delegate chores like a mini King Solomon. I don’t have anyone to whom I might delegate responsibility, and I’m not managing my harried schedule very efficiently, and as evidence yesterday was triple booked with appointments at the exact same time. I’m meeting myself going and coming and cannot keep up with it all . . . I don’t even have a personal assistant.
Wahhh!
One time I saw a man walking down the road that was obviously in his own little world and most likely crazier than a loon. He was dressed shabbily and muttering to himself, but I could not help but notice the huge smile on his face. It was radiant and obviously he didn’t have a care in the world.
I told my companion, “That could be me! That guy might not have many material possessions, but he doesn’t have a care in the world, nor a single responsibility. Though the world might view him with pity, I view him with envy. He’s made it! He’s happy and oblivious to the problems that beset the world”.
I remarked to my unsympathetic buddy yesterday that the Bible teaches, “To whom much has been given, much is required”. I told him that I didn’t ask God to give me what He’s graciously given me. I don’t want the responsibility. I want a simple life with no worries like that looney tunes guy.
I’m reminded of Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. He didn’t want to go through the passion of the cross. He knew He would be unmercifully tortured, crucified, and humiliated. Worse than that Jesus was fully aware that God, who cannot tolerate sin, would do the unthinkable and turn His back on Him when He took all of the sins of the world upon Himself on our behalves. And that my friends had to be devastating to Him. (Imagine if God turned His back on you and withdrew His love.)
Jesus agonized over his dilemma and prayed with such vigor that indeed He actually sweated blood; however in the end He stated in Luke 22:42, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”
I want your will to be done and not mine. That is pure surrender, and that is obedience, and that is what God desires from us all. It doesn’t matter what “I” want; God created me to serve “His” purpose and not vice versa.
Hmmm . . . Before my friend left yesterday I told him that I should be offering thanksgiving instead of griping and murmuring. God is pouring out all of the blessings that we’ve been praying for over the past year. Our Renewal of America campaign is taking shape, as is our mission to preach the Gospel to every nation. And here I am griping about being overwhelmed with work.
I’m terrified of complaining in front of God. In Numbers 14:28 God gave us an illustration of the consequences of murmuring against Him: Say to them, ‘As I live,’ says the Lord, ‘just as you have spoken in My hearing, so I will do to you: The carcasses of you who have complained against Me shall fall in this wilderness, all of you who were numbered, according to your entire number, from twenty years old.”
Yikes! Please forgive me Jesus! I asked You to shower Your blessings upon our ministry and You have graciously done so and I thank You with gusto! Please God forgive me my stupidity and continue pouring it on. I’m going to run an ad for a personal assistant and will deal with whatever You send my way and trust that You will lead me in that effort! Amen!
This has been my wakeup call and now I’m wide awake. I’m not organizing a pity party rather a celebration.
I have faced the living God whose word has penetrated and laid bare my heart and I have revealed openly and totally to Him and asked His forgiveness.
I conclude today that I hear His words, and harden not my heart. I thank my merciful Father for His loving grace and ask His forgiveness. I get so ashamed and disgusted with myself when I act in this manner . . . If I were a little more flexible I would kick myself in the butt . . . Sigh . . .
Hebrews 12:3
Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
January 15, 2014 – Click here to listen