My brother did not have one person (other than family) attend his funeral. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever experienced and I think of it often. Imagine spending a lifetime, (52), and not having even one friend.
It seems that he had trouble with most everyone. It wasn’t just that he had no friends; Jim’s relationships didn’t work out either. He’d been married and divorced several times and in fact his last wife was going to divorce him too which in large part precipitated his suicide. He was equally at odds with family. If he was in a bad mood he would rant and scream at me and my parents over the least little thing and made me feel like hanging myself just to talk to him; better to avoid him.
So what was wrong with him? Jim had been spoiled as a child. My parents thought he “hung the moon” and literally adored him. He was good in sports and was above average smart, but nowhere near as talented as my parents made him out to be, but the way they saw it, he was number one in everything.
My parents loved Jim and spoiled him rotten; the world did not. When he graduated from college, he left home and fully expected to continue to be treated like a “golden boy”, but to society at large he was just another guy out there, and the only special privilege he would be afforded had to be earned.
Jim could pretty much say whatever he wanted to my parents and they would come bouncing back; the world went bouncing away from him when he unloaded on them. A spoiled child is bad enough to be around, but a spoiled adult is not someone most people want to hang with.
I used to give the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie to every employee, especially those in sales. I read it every year myself and believe that most everyone should read it. The gist of the book is that most people only care about themselves. In order to do well in sales or in society at large we must understand that concept and cater to them and not ourselves.
It means that if we want to succeed and do so wildly, we have to care about other people and their needs and desires and not just our own. People don’t want to hear about how you scored the winning touchdown, or caught the biggest fish, or hammered the big deer, or won the prize; they want you to make a big deal about them.
Spoiled people always think only of themselves and make everything about their situation and thus lead a lonely tortured existence. This is contrary to the Bible which teaches that we should treat everyone as we would like to be treated. To do so solves the problems of the world. Selah . . .
If you don’t have many friends, have several failed relationships with significant others, constantly battle with family or all of the above, it may be difficult to swallow, but consider that just maybe it’s YOU and not the world that is the problem. Perhaps you are too infatuated with yourself as to be indifferent to those around you because you only care about you . . .
It’s much easier to go through life with friends as opposed to having none. The Bible teaches that in order to have friends we must be friendly ourselves. If the world is bouncing away from you, take the focus off yourself, focus on God and others first.
Zig Ziglar once said, “Give enough people what they want, and you’ll get whatever you want in life”.
Matt. 22:38
And He said to him, “‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ “This is the great and foremost commandment. “The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF . . .
December 17, 2013 – Click here to listen