Double shot of your love

Usually I wake up each morning in a very good mood. I am an early riser and could definitely be classified as a “morning’ person. My wife rarely awakens before I do, but this morning was different. This morning I was rudely awakened when my wife began to beat me about the shoulders and my head. Groggily I asked her if she was insane or what, and she angrily replied that I “ran around on her all night”. Huh? “I’ve been sleeping right next to you all night”, I replied.

Apparently she dreamed that some girl and I were flirting with each other right in front of her at some bar and to say that my wife did not appreciate it would be a vast understatement. She told me that the girl kept bring me shots of whiskey all night and flirting with me in front of her “very eyes”. I patiently looked at her, (as any sane person would look at a deranged nut), and told her, “Teresa I do not even drink”. She laughed, but unbelievably still remained sullen as I walked out of the door to go to work this morning.

I read a little book by a pastor acquaintance of mine the other day and one of the stories was about a married couple who constantly had problems communicating with each other. They decided that they would setup two boxes and every time either of them did something that offended the other, they would write it down and put it in the other’s box and later they would read them and better understand the things that they each did on occasion that perturbed the other. After the first month, they both opened their boxes. The husband read numerous notes about his poor behavior and heinous acts such as leaving wet towels on the floor, dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher, dirty clothes left on the floor, snoring, etc. The wife opened her box and there was a scrap of paper for every day. Each one had the exact same message. It simply said, “I love you! “Hmmm I bet that gal felt as foolish as my wife felt this morning when she beat on my head for having an imaginary affair in one of her dreams.

Successful marriages are not “perfect” marriages with “perfect’ couples. They are comprised of imperfect people who realize it and are willing to overlook each other’s shortcomings. Friends of mine, (especially in the Florida Keys where most everyone has been married and divorced, often numerous times), ask me all of the time how I managed to stay married to the same person for so many years. The foregoing is always my response. It is not ever easy to overlook someone else’s faults, but to recognize that just maybe “you” have some faults too is a “monumental” task for some of us. If we both have faults I suppose I cannot hold my wife to the higher standard of being perfect unless I can meet that impossible standard myself. It takes some very hard work and a spirit of forgiveness to hold a marriage together because of that phenomenon.

This morning in the interest of having a blissful marriage, I choose to overlook the fact that my wife attacked me in her “Looney Tunes” rage over her crazy dream; hopefully she will likewise forgive me the next time I belch in her face at the top of my lungs like a bugling elk after downing a Coke. I think this sage advice will fall on deaf ears and she will beat on me again when I bugle at her. Sigh… I cannot win.

(I am quick to admit that I do not think my way in this matter is God’s way. God’s way is soft, gentle, and peaceful. Oh how I would like to be like Him. One day I will; I look forward to heaven and being in that eternal state.)

Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away
wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up
anger.