Bad banana

I recently saw in the news where President Bush got caught again with an open mic that enabled reporters to monitor his private conversation with Tony Blair. He was candidly telling Tony Blair that a speaker at the G-8 Summit was boring and he used some common cuss-words to describe how boring the guy was and how bad he wished he did not have to listen to his speech later that day. This is the second time he has been caught like this. The other time that he was unaware that his mic was open and half the world was listening, was when he whispered into Dick Cheney’s ear and called a reporter from the New York Times (that he saw in the audience), a rather explicit name. Of course President Bush is an avowed Christian and it is surprising to hear him using profanity. The article talked about other Presidents who were just as bad like on occasion President Reagan and some worse like Richard Nixon who was a Quaker but you would have never known it by his language and John F. Kennedy who was a Catholic with a very profane mouth. It just goes to show that even Christians do not always act Christian-like when relaxing and confiding with their closest allies and friends.

I went fishing in another tournament this weekend. A friend of mine joined our fishing team late. Initially he said he was too busy and only after I called him a name that was very unChristian did he agree to go with us. We began fishing and after about an hour he pulled out a banana for a snack. Everyone who has ever been fishing knows that bananas are extremely bad luck for fisherman. Most charter boats have signs on their boats warning customers not to bring bananas on board. Charter boat captains will take customers back if they bring a banana aboard. It is a serious error in judgment to bring a banana aboard any fishing vessel. When my fishing partner and I saw that banana being pulled out right in the middle of a fishing’ tournament, we called this poor bloke every name in the book. Captain Bob got on an irate terror as I called this guy every name I could think of and them made some up on the fly. I could have easily equaled the most foul-mouthed sailor in the Merchant Marines for several explicit minutes and then sporadically throughout the rest of the day as more thoughts came to my mind.

It was all in good fun and more light-hearted banter than serious talk, but as I thought about it later I know it was wrong for me as a Christian to use profanity like that. Just like President Bush my mic was open and people were listening in. My buddies were listening in and they both know I am a Christian and anytime a Christian does not act like a Christian whether we tell a dirty joke or use profanity, it sends the wrong message. More importantly God is always listening and the Bible tells us that there will be an accounting for every idle word. The Bible tells us not to be coarse and guttural with our language even when “jesting”,(Eph. 5:4), as it serves no Godly purpose; in fact just the opposite it is worldly and unwholesome. Even when we are sorely tested as in a case whereby some guy brings a banana along on a fishing tournament, we should hold the line.

By the way, if you, (like him), think that believing a banana is bad luck is somehow pagan or whatever, consider that we had the tournament’s biggest Bull Dolphin swimming around our boat for nearly an hour and it refused to take any bait we threw to it. Had we caught him, with the combined weight of all our other fish we would have easily won the tournament.

We lost the tournament because of the banana. If the banana man’ had left his #*$#* banana at home we would have wonJust kidding.I really have learned my lesson. Perhaps if we had not cussed this poor guy, and believed that such a small innocent looking thing as a badly browned half-rotten banana ruined our chances to win money, then we would have won the tournament. And for you really fundamentalist that think gambling is a rotten sin too, I don’t think a fishing tournament is a form of gambling because we intended to give ten per cent of the fish we caught to the church. Lying is a sin too. All right I give up! I give upLord please forgive me for I have sinned

Matt. 12:36
But I say to you that for every
idle word men may speak, they will
give account of it in the day of
judgment.