Tallahassee is a small town and news travels quickly. Saturday night one of its beloved, Terry Warren, took his own life and soon my phone began ringing. Terry was an FSU star under Coach Bobby Bowden, and his football prowess was legendary. When his college career ended he was immediately drafted into the NFL only to see his career end without having played a game due to an unexpected injury whereby he broke his back.
It seemed odd for a big rough tough defensive football star to have a heavenly voice but Terry had one. One time he sang the national anthem at an FSU football game and he was noticed by none other than Burt Reynolds, who ended up convincing Terry to go to Hollywood with him. As one might expect that life style got out of hand and he moved to NYC and was the lead singer in a Broadway play for some time. He moved to Nashville, settled down with his wife and they had two wonderful kids. It ended in an ugly divorce and Terry’s life was never the same.
He was a big man, good looking, funny, a great praise director, and could sing like an angel. We became good friends and when I founded Honey Lake Church he became the Praise Director for our 2nd Sunday services. He served in that capacity for over a year beginning with the first service we ever conducted.
Several folks have called and asked me why Terry who seemingly had so much talent going for him would do such a thing. I discussed it with Coach Bowden yesterday. My grandfather, two of my uncles, my only brother Jim and numerous of my friends and acquaintances all committed suicide and I have come as close to ending my own life as one could possibly imagine on several occasions. All I can offer to answer the “why” question is that they all ran out of hope.
Trouble with women, finance, low self-esteem, addictions, a feeling that the world and everyone in it will be better off without you, all contribute, but in the end it is a feeling of hopeless despair and a desire to avoid the pain of life that drives people to suicide. Instead of focusing on God in the bad times they focus on their problems and how overwhelming it seems to deal with them. What they are missing is that the One they reject is the only avenue of escape that can help lead them to peace, joy, and love. Jesus Christ is the only one that can fill that empty hole in their hearts.
Unfortunately those family members and close friends who get left behind are totally devastated and invariably feel guilty and wonder for years on end if there is something they might have done differently that would have prevented it. Suicide is something that one never gets over. Some say we just get used to the death of a loved one in this manner. I have never been able to achieve that feeling with my brother and doubt I ever will.
Terry told me one time that he was raised in the church by a Godly family. He strayed from the word and became seriously depressed and was contemplating committing suicide. Just at this time his best friend actually did take his own life. Terry sang at his funeral and as he sang and looked at his friend’s small children on the front row, it had a profound impact on him. He returned to God and made an effort to straighten up. He told me that I couldn’t begin to know how hard it was to look at those little kids and sing that song.
I knew that Terry’s children meant more to him than one could imagine. He talked about them incessantly and everything he planned and did was around them. That is why I was shocked to learn of his death from his own hand. I cannot imagine what he was thinking when he made that decision.
I believe suicide to be a sin, but our merciful God forgives sin. That is the only solace I have for my own brother Jim and for my spiritual brother Terry. I know they were born again. Jesus said in Matthew: And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Once we accept God and become a part of His church we are in His hands forever. Terry and I had many long talks together including what heaven will be like, and I treasure my time with him. I know I will see him again in heaven and hear him sing that beautiful song, “Amazing Love” yet again. Until then he will be sincerely missed.
We will have a small tribute for Terry at Honey Lake Church this coming Sunday. Jack Parker will be our special guest speaker for our second Sunday message. I hope you will attend. Jack experienced the highs and lows of life. Terry’s hopelessness will make Jack’s testimony all the more meaningful as he recalls how he lived through so many seemingly hopeless impossible situations only to live through them and thrive in the Lord.
John 10:28
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.
May 4, 2015 – Click here to listen