We all get to a point in our lives where we stop and say, “I have no idea where God is taking me.” We all have struggled at one time or another to understand God’s plan. Understanding it can be difficult when the world around us is darker than ever. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, but we know that our God is good and anything that happens through Him will be good. We all desperately want to know God’s plan for us. If we know, then we can work extremely hard in the direction that we are meant to go.
Stop asking God where He is and seek Him. Pray that He guides you to where you need to be.
I ignored this advice the other day and got very angry but eventually found my way to peace. My anger was aimed toward my insurance company. They refused to authorize my surgery even though I had not one, but two of the foremost surgeons in the country/world telling me that I need the surgery. I also had an MRI that plainly shows the tears and bone spurs in my shoulder. The doctors told me the torn tendons will not heal themselves on their own . . . ever. I can continue taking Cortisone shots and physical therapy until the cows come in, but the torn tendons and bone spurs must be addressed surgically.
Nonetheless, the insurance company required that I first do six weeks of physical therapy to see if that would improve things. My therapist privately told me that she heard that they found in the cases of spine doctors that 80% of the patients who were denied surgery and faced similar ultimatums to take physical therapy first, just dropped out of the system thus saving them millions of dollars and that is why they do it. She looked at me and said it’s all about the money. I replied, “What in this society isn’t?”
So the doctors want the money for their surgeries, the insurance companies want money through avoiding paying for surgeries, the physical therapy people want money on both ends and lost in the middle is the poor patient who suffers pain daily. I was told that after my six weeks of painful physical therapy, I can proceed with the surgery, and then guess what? I will need 6 months of even more painful physical therapy. More money for them and more pain for me.
This is not to mention the amount of time that will be consumed by all of this, time I will never get back. So I was stalking around fuming about it and then God whispered in my spirit, Have you not considered Me in this equation? What if I decided to heal you without surgery? What if I am teaching you something valuable? Is your intellect greater than mine?
Hmmm . . . Gulp . . . All good questions Father!
My wife and I go for a walk every afternoon and I began telling her about this little one-sided communication with God. By now my anger had dissipated, and I had decided just to accept it with no more complaining. Yes, I was disappointed and wanted to get the surgery over with and recovery underway ASAP, but I believe things happen for a reason in life. I must admit that I don’t know the answer to what the reason is for the delay in my surgery, but God does and that is good enough for me.
As I mulled this over this morning, I have recommitted myself, (the best I know how) to accepting whatever life deals me on pure and simple faith. Faith alone is the best path forward. My intellect is not sufficient to understand, and I don’t know the future. But God knows everything and can see the future and has designed a good plan for my life. He understands perfectly what I truly need and only wants the best for me. If you have not already done so, please join me in putting your complete trust in Him and just go with the flow even if you have to grit your teeth and bear it.
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.