A few years back a young lady called me for counseling, or in reality to complain about her husband. I knew the young man she was ridiculing and complaining about, and he is a good guy and loves his family very much. So maybe he has not attained the highest “social” status and his job is blue-collar, but he works hard every day makes a good honest living, and supports his family. She belittled him saying he did not want to improve his lot in life and made fun of him.
She wanted me to counsel “him” and convince him to go to school and to “improve” himself. She probably regrets calling me because she did not hear what she thought she would hear from me. I told her that she needed to reevaluate her situation. My feeling is that she would be hard-pressed to ever find a better or more loving father and husband. I went on to tell her that she might want to look at herself in the mirror and see that realistically she wasn’t exactly a supermodel like Cindy Crawford and perhaps her next attempt at obtaining a “better” husband might be just a trifle harder than she expected.
I mean where did she get the idea that she was some grand prize and God’s gift to the world and her husband was not deserving of her? This young man was a Godly man and after a hard day at work, he went home and changed diapers, helped clean the house, washed dishes, and many other things that many husbands would never do. Did I mention she didn’t have a job and was a stay-at-home mom?
He does not go out on the town drinking, he is not lazy, and works hard every day; he is not womanizing and running around on her, and he loves her and his family very much. I knew him well and from where I stand his only “crime” was that he had no desire to go to college and obtain a white-collar job. I told her that such a man should be appreciated and respected and that she should be ashamed of herself. Oddly enough she agreed, and she initiated a reconcilement and to my knowledge, they are still living the dream.
None of us are perfect. It is easy to see the faults in our mates but seldom do we look inward. Often what we may perceive as a fault, may not be a fault; as with this young blue-collar worker. He makes good money and who cares if his hands get dirty? He is supporting his family and doing the work he enjoys. It is the American way. Even if she does identify a fault in him, who among us is without faults? Not me and not her I can assure you. My counseling to her was that she should appreciate what she had and love and “respect” her husband. Check out below what the Bible tells us concerning husbands and wives loving and respecting each other . . .
Ephesians 5:33|
Nevertheless, let each one of you
in particular, so love his own wife as
himself, and let the wife see that she
respects her husband.