Losing the essence of love

Oct

13

2022

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Oct

13

2022

A reader responded to my post yesterday with the following:

I heard a podcast the other day that really resonated and stuck with me regarding judging others. This gentleman, who was in a terrible car accident and had a near death experience where he died for six minutes in his early 20s and later overcame stage 4 cancer in his early 40s, said the following: ‘I have learned not to judge other people because I don’t know what their circumstances are, nor do I know the environment or upbringing they experienced and I don’t know that I wouldn’t behave any differently than they do if I was born into that same environment they experienced”

When I heard that I thought of the black community for which I have found myself being very judgmental. Notwithstanding my deep belief that government intercession and liberal policies have largely led to the breakdown of the family in the black community, I thought of young black young men (thugs) roaming the streets of Tallahassee with their britches halfway down their butt.  They are obviously a product of their environment, but had been born into that same family community would I have behaved any differently? The writer of that podcast and his comments deeply impacted how I view judging others maybe even more than what the Bible has espoused about doing the same thing.

As for your place in Mississippi I am quite envious and happy for you. PS – Couldn’t you have at least bought a doublewide? Lol –

Oh brother! the house trailer hits just keep on coming.

So, is judgment off limits? Nope the Sermon on the Mount message about do not judge has been taken out of context. The Bible is clear that Christians should recognize sin and we are told that we will know people by their fruit, (what they do with their lives). I have a friend whose brother suffers from addiction but lately is doing much better. Nonetheless my friend has judged him and found him guilty and has told me that he will never forgive his brother for becoming a drug addict. I told him he should cut him some slack. Sure, the guy made a big mistake probably by running with the wrong crowd initially, but he is trying very hard to get off drugs, but it is an addiction and less than 15% of the addicted population is ever freed from it. I told him he should be supporting him not condemning him. He is right to recognize the sin, in his brother’s life (judgement) but the way he is dealing with it is wrong.

On more than one occasion I have spoken in various churches and when I started giving my testimony, I’ve seen husbands and wives get up and leave. The bad events I recount in my testimony happened in my childhood and as an early adult and were in no small part because of the dysfunctional family life I had to endure as a child. I became a Christian at 24 and am now in my seventies. I have spent twice as much time following Christ as I did following the wicked ways of Satan but one would think from some folks that even today, I am Al Capone reincarnated.

Here is Jesus’ statement: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1) Does this mean we are never to discern the behavior of others? Jesus’ command not to judge others could be the most widely quoted of His sayings, even though it is almost invariably quoted in complete disregard of its context.. Many people use this verse in an attempt to silence their critics, interpreting Jesus’ meaning as, “You don’t have the right to tell me I’m wrong.” Taken in isolation, Jesus’ command “Do not judge” does indeed seem to preclude all negative assessments. However, there is much more to the passage than those three words. The Bible’s command that we not judge others does not mean we cannot show discernment. Immediately after Jesus says, “Do not judge,” He says, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs”

A little later in the same sermon, He says, “Watch out for false prophets . . . By their fruit you will recognize them”. How are we to discern who are the “dogs” and “pigs” and “false prophets” unless we have the ability to make a judgment call on doctrines and deeds? Jesus is giving us permission to tell right from wrong. Elsewhere, Jesus gives a direct command to judge. But with restrictions:

  • Superficial judgment is wrong. Passing judgment on someone based solely on appearances such as wearing your britches halfway down your butt is sinful.
  • Harsh, unforgiving judgment is wrong. We are “always to be gentle toward everyone”
  • Self-righteous judgment is wrong. We are called to humility
  • Untrue judgment is wrong. The Bible clearly forbids bearing false witness – Proverbs 19:5: “Slander no one”

Believers are warned against judging others unfairly or in an unrighteous manner, but Jesus commends “right judgment”. We are to be discerning. We are to preach the whole counsel of God, including the Bible’s teaching on sin. We are to gently confront erring brothers or sisters in Christ. We are to practice church discipline. We are to speak the truth in love.

Personally, I think we have lost the essence of love in our world. It is filled with hate and civility is all but dead. The Bible is clear that we must use discernment in regard to sin, but we can do it lovingly and with compassion.

1 Cor. 13:13
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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