Have you ever noticed that try as you might you just cannot seem to have a good relationship with some people? Of course, you have because some people just do not want to get along. The question is what to do about it. Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Another way to read this command might be, Never – let yourself be the reason for an un-peaceful relationship with another person.” The writer of this verse, Paul, says we should live at peace “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you.” Paul recognizes in a sinful world there will be times when peace is not possible. However, as Christians, we must live peacefully and encourage peace to those around us. Furthermore, Jesus reminds us that it is because of Him that we can have peace in a conflicted world. John 16.33 – “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
This does not mean that we must adhere to total pacifism or complete apathy. Paul gives two clear conditions: “If possible” and “so far as it depends on you.” This command recognizes that conflict is sometimes unavoidable. Some people are just not interested in making peace with us. There is such a thing as an appropriate time and place to disagree, to dispute, or even to fight. Not every action that makes others happy is something good, or something God would want us to do. The Bible is clear, however, that on matters of bedrock conviction, we must take our stand with grace, mercy, and integrity. When making “peace” is only possible if we compromise the truth or the commands of God, then peace is simply not possible, and the choice no longer depends on us.
I try to get along with everyone, but I currently have a problem with someone, and our relationship is teetering upon disaster. Try as I might this guy will not be reasonable, basically only seeing things from his own perspective which is a case of whatever he does is correct in his eyes. The only perspective he even considers is his own which is off base. Ugh!
Unfortunately, we are born at war. At birth, our sinful nature has already declared war on God and His truth and the peace He desires for us. Our heart’s innate desire is to be separated from Him, and if we persist in this desire until death, He will give us what we want. If we have faith in Him and turn to Jesus, He will give us His peace. God’s methods of warfare are not what we expected. Instead of a battle, He sent us the Prince of Peace Jesus Christ. Jesus’ goal in coming to earth was more than simply to cease hostilities between us; He came to bring about a full and abiding relationship of restoration and love. The cost of this peace was His life.
My squabble with this person is a mini version of how wars begin. I have attempted to reconcile our differences by gently telling this person that his behavior is unacceptable by anyone’s standards. I have tried reasoning but have hit a brick wall. He only sees things from his own perspective and seemingly will not be dissuaded from changing anything in the interest in making peace and living peaceful lives. This situation as with most things reminds me of Jesus, just as we cannot force another to be at peace with us, even Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross did not ensure that we would accept His terms of peace.
Our natural selves do not want reconciliation. Only God can lead us to want peace with Him; the Holy Spirit leads us to want Jesus and His message. Once the Spirit draws us, we believe in Jesus, and the peace comes. God has led me to a point where I desire peace with everyone. I’ve been at war and as someone has wisely said, “War is hell!”. So, my desire to avoid war and strive for peace is firmly entrenched in my heart and soul; nonetheless, I cannot find peace alone. The other party must bend too and in this case, he will not bend like a reed but would snap like a rigid pine tree before he would modify his behavior. So, my peace is in turmoil today, but God will restore it and I know that, if possible, as far as it depends on me, I choose to live at peace with everyone and most of all with Jesus through faith.
Romans 5:1
“Since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”