December 29, 2021 – Click here to listen
One of the things I enjoy most in life is conversing in virtually any format, (verbally, phone, or e-mail), with intelligent people. I’ve often counseled junior managers to try and hire the most intelligent team members they can find, and that one can always spot this characteristic by looking into their eyes. I call this phenomenon having “bright eyes”. It doesn’t matter what other physical characteristics they might possess, or what they might happen to be wearing when you look into their eyes and they seem to be “dancing” with life, then chances are good that they will be a “keeper”. The Bible refers to our eyes as “windows of the soul” and “bright eyes” illustrates that concept to me.
Early in my entrepreneurial career when I had just begun developing software for my own companies, I had a programmer who worked for me who had “bright eyes”, (in his case they were steely blue “bright eyes”). Aside from that, he was a mess. He always had a smile on his face, but unfortunately, it revealed his teeth which were very bad; he was very tall and gangly looking, reminiscent of being cut from the Abraham Lincoln mold; he dressed like a rough-looking farmhand and his ears were the size of mud flaps on a semi-truck and stuck straight out. His bad haircut must have cost all of two dollars and he put true meaning to the expression, “cowlick”, as his hair actually appeared as though a cow might have licked it in several places because his hair was invariably sticking straight up, especially on the back of his head with numerous sprigs of hair that seemingly had a “mind of their own” and went in several different directions.
No one could ever ask for a closer friend than Bobby Joe Crawley. He was as smart as a whip and could not only understand everything I was telling him regarding the design of the software that I envisioned, (a Herculean feat in itself); he nearly always had great suggestions that would improve it.
Admittedly I’ve never been easy to work for, and yet Bobby didn’t have any problems in getting along with me, and we had a mutual, (unspoken), but well-understood respect for each other.
Back in the days when we worked together, software was not commercially available yet, and we were pioneers. Believe it or not, the first computer I bought for our company had a 16K hard drive in it, (that’s right I said 16 “K” and not 16 “megabytes”, and I did intend to refer to the tiny hard drive storage and not RAM 16K hard drive!); Later the technology advanced to a 286 and then the 386, and the then the 486 and (WOW!) the powerful 586. Those ancient computers would be laughable today.
We had a blast together and our DOS software was a technological revolution and made life far easier for those in our company. The supply chain software that handles inventory, procurement, distribution, production, Point of Sale, and fixed asset management that our company sold all over the world later to entities like the Department of Defense had its roots in our early efforts, and although the technology and speed has long since changed dramatically, surprisingly the business processes that are utilized as well as the look, feel, and basic functionality have not changed much at all. Bobby Joe would be proud!
One day Bobby came in and he leaned over a desk, and I noticed a big lump on his back showing through his tee-shirt. I asked what it was, and he related that it was a mole and it had enlarged and was also bleeding some. I asked if he’d been to a doctor, and he replied that he hated going to doctors and besides he hadn’t had time. I screamed at him so loud that half the employees in our office heard me. I called my dermatologist right then and there and convinced him to see Bobby not only that day, but RIGHT NOW! He had emergency surgery the next day and they removed the largest melanoma tumor from his back that my doctor had ever seen.
Melanoma is an ugly malignant, invasive, vicious, and particularly aggressive, insidious form of cancer and Bobby went down fast. In just a few short weeks he was in the hospital and his end was very near. I could not bear to see him in that condition, but I forced myself to visit him anyway. The cancer had of course gone into his lymphatic system and had spread throughout his body to invade his kidneys, liver, lungs, and brain. He was as yellow as a gourd from liver failure and his giant frame was emaciated to the point that I barely recognized him. He was lying very still in his bed when I walked in. He looked at me with those dimming but strangely still lit “bright eyes”, and managed a weak smile, and coarsely whispered, “This is hell”.
At that moment I felt the greatest amount of compassion that I’ve ever felt for anyone before or since. This was my closest friend in the entire world, someone whom I admired and respected and someone with whom I’d spent literally thousands of hours in close daily contact for the past seven years working on projects together which we both loved. His forehead was covered with sweat, and I got a hand towel and dampened it, and lightly mopped his brow with it and I then gently pushed back his sweat-soaked hair from his face. His “bright eyes” were weak, but I could see his appreciation for what I’d done. We talked for a long time, reminiscing about happier days and funny things that we’d seen and done together. He was in tremendous pain and so was I. It “hurt” so much for me to see him in that condition, that mere words are inadequate to describe it.
I read one time that Mother Teresa who worked with the poorest and most depraved souls in all of the world including lepers, and the “worst of the worst” in the horrible slums of Calcutta India was asked how she could bear to work around these poor souls and look into the eyes of those who were suffering so horribly as she held them in her arms and literally watch as they succumbed to death and she replied that she could see the face of Jesus whenever she looked at their faces. I can relate to that feeling as I looked at my friend suffering that day.
My friend mercifully died soon after my visit and is now in heaven with Jesus far removed from suffering, pain, sorrow, and the grief that I still feel. I grieve him to this day and can truthfully tell you that tears are in my eyes as I write these words; however, I should be quick to point out that I grieve for myself and not for Bobby Joe. I really miss my friend who was truly one of the good guys. I miss our favorite pastime of intellectual sparring and engagement and figuring out how to resolve tough problems together and it is like a hole has been carved in my soul that cannot be repaired.
Bobby and I talked many times about Jesus Christ, and I know that he accepted Him upon faith. I have no doubt that at this very moment he is smiling that wonderful smile as he sits at the feet of Jesus Christ and attentively listens as Jesus explains some of the mysteries of the world to him and he is enjoying every second of it with that wonderful keen and inquisitive mind. I can shut my eyes and see that the fire and sparkle has been restored in those wonderful “bright eyes”.
I have close friends today who are dealing with broken hearts and gut-wrenching grief stemming from similar situations. I urge you to try your utmost to focus as I do on the reunion and not the departure. Sometime in the not-too-distant future, I will rejoin Bobby and I imagine that just like old times he will excitedly come over to me and start talking “ninety miles an hour” briefing me on all that he has learned, and we will pick up where we left off for the rest of eternity. Hopefully, God will allow us to work together on a project of great import to Him. We will enjoy and marvel together at mystery after mystery being unlocked and patiently explained by Jesus Christ. We and other good friends and relatives will enjoy eternity together with no further interruptions free from Satan and sin.
To be sure the Bible emphatically tells us that we must suffer for a while, but it also states that it cannot even be “compared” to the glory that is coming, thanks to God’s limitless and abounding grace which will endure forever. Be patient my friends, good times will replace the suffering that you now endure and before you know it, we will see the glory of God first-hand.
Romans 8:18
For I consider that the sufferings
of this present time are not worthy
to be compared with the glory which
shall be revealed in us.
For the earnest expectation of
the creation eagerly waits for the
revealing of the sons of God.