May 9 2018 – Click here to listen
No one enjoys being criticized, but does that necessarily mean that all criticism is bad? I realize that this logic may differ from the norm; however I for one do not think that all criticism is bad. There are two types of criticism, destructive and constructive. If the criticism is designed primarily to “tear down”, then it is destructive and is definitely a bad thing. If it is aimed at helping build up or improve, then it is constructive and is probably a good thing, provided however, that it is offered as a means of calling a problem to your attention of which you may not be aware and is perhaps followed by a suggestion for improvement. As long as it is not solely rendered as criticism, in my mind it is a good thing, (even though we don’t enjoy hearing it).
One problem is that many people do not want advice of any kind and simply cannot tolerate it, regardless of its nature. I guess the determining factor to me is trying to determine the motivation of the person or persons who are leveling the criticism combined with whether or not they are qualified to offer advice. Why are they criticizing?
Is it because they just like to gripe? Or is it because they genuinely see a problem and want to call it to my attention in order for me to make an improvement? Are they qualified to offer criticism? Do they have all the facts? Do they have the where-with-all to offer an intelligent suggestion.
Anyone who has ever been the President or leader of an organization has had to listen to criticism. I have been in such positions much of my life and have endured/enjoyed criticism of every type and continue to do so every day of my life. I don’t care if you are a pastor of a church, coach of a team, manager of a company, organizer of a golf tournament, politician, President of the Lions club, leader of your family, et al, if you stick your head above the clover, someone will be trying to blow it off. If it is your boss at work, one pretty much has to listen. If it is your Mother-in law, teen age son, or the guy across the street, that may be a different story. I detest “unfair” criticism as much as the next person, but I always “try” to be open to constructive criticism.
Why? Because I KNOW that I am not perfect and often make mistakes. I must be candid it is very difficult to take when it is criticism aimed at my family or my work, but if it is justified, I want to hear it, because more than anything I want to improve everything with which I am associated. I cannot reach perfection in this lifetime; however I think that we should try our best to do our very best at absolutely everything that we do.
Bottom line: sometimes we are blind to our inadequacies, be it a personal or professional. If someone kindly points something out to us and perhaps offers a suggestion in order to help us improve the situation, we should welcome it and not resent it. Many people are absolutely loaded with talent but they still are not perfect and they make mistakes just like the rest of us. Something that is not oblivious to that person may be blatantly obvious to someone looking in from the “outside”. If they think enough of us to point it out to us and perhaps offer a suggestion to improve the situation, we should be deeply appreciative. When I offer constructive criticism, I know full well that it can BLOW up in my face, especially if the maturity to handle it is not there from the person on the receiving end. Often I end up wishing that I did not offer it, but just as often it is very much appreciated and the result is worth the risk . . .
The next time you are criticized, stop and think about this person. They just may be one of the best friends you’ve got. (And then again they may just be someone who is unhappy with the world). Keep an open mind.
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Proverbs 12:1
He who loves correction loves knowledge,
but he who hates reproof is stupid.
Proverbs 13:1
A wise son loves correction,
but the senseless one heeds no rebuke.