Have you had trouble making friends?
Hmmm . . . Are you really smart? According to a recent study your intelligence just might be your problem.
This excerpt taken from an article in People addresses this issue:
“There’s no fighting it – humans are innately social creatures. But while it’s widely accepted that socializing makes us happier, this might not be strictly true if you’re highly intelligent. Psychologists from Singapore Management University and the London School of Economics and Political Science found exactly this when they studied more than 15,000 young adults.
They concluded that, while people generally feel happier when they spend time with others, very smart people are an exception to this rule. Their other theory is that smarter people are more aspirational, and want to spend more time working towards their goals, rather than socializing.
The study found that more intelligent people actually had lower life satisfaction the more frequently they socialized with friends – spending time with friends actually made them unhappy.”
Then the article concluded with this curious statement:
“ . . . the researchers discovered that these highly intelligent participants actually spent more time socializing with friends. Not really that clever then, surely?”
Maybe more clever than the writer thought. The Bible contains much information about friends and all of it points towards the need for good friends. None is more poignant than this one from Jesus:
John 15:12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. And of course Jesus did just that for all of us.
God chronicles the importance of friendships beginning in the beginning, Genesis
“After God made Adam, He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Although the first man had God Himself as a friend, our Creator knew Adam would benefit from having a human companion. It’s the Lord’s will for you to love God and be friends with Him, but also to have friends on this planet!
The book of Proverbs is ripe with benefits of having friends: Check out 11:14
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.
Eccl.4:14 – Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Proverbs 27:17 – Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
No doubt that we need friends, but the Bible cautions about making friends with the wrong people? This verse in James 4:4 tells us something that is vitally important and is supported with verses throughout the Bible.
“You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.”
Proverbs 12:26
The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.
1 Corinthians 15
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
The conclusion is we need friends, but the right kind. Having bad friends is far worse than having no friends at all.
C.S. Lewis was one of those highly intelligent people who reflected on friendships. He wrote:
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art . . . It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”
“Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?”
“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”
Bottom line: God doesn’t want you to be lonely. Ask Him to help you grow into the type of person who can be a good friend. Then take the initiative to reach out, and you’ll discover many opportunities to develop godly relationships. Prayer works, but perhaps the greatest way to garner friends is to listen to God: A man that has friends must show himself friendly. Remember what Jesus said in Luke 10:27 He answered, when asked what the greatest commandment was: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”
When should we love them? Should we just love our friends when they love us? Should we love them even if they do something to hurt our feelings?
Proverbs 18:24
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Have a great weekend and go to Honey Lake Church or somewhere this Sunday and while there make some new friends.
November 18 2016 – Click here to listen