Last week I made tremendous progress on many fronts, not the least of which was the Jesus Alliance. So I was in a good mood, a very good mood. The prior week I had written a letter to a head of a ministry to try and resolve what I thought was a fairly minor dispute. I’d heard he was talking about me in a derogatory fashion and I knew we had some issues to resolve, and I felt that Christ would want us to resolve these issues and move on. So I essentially told him in my e-mail that we were brothers in Christ and we should not be bickering with one another and asked him to call me whereby we could iron out our differences by phone and not have things misconstrued by e-mail or text.
So he called me and when we began talking he lit into me like a buzz saw, telling me of real and imagined injustices that he perceived that I had perpetuated on him that dated back several years. The more he said the more angry I became and I started recounting the injustices he had perpetuated on me. He got louder and more derisive as did I and suddenly my temper got the best of me and white hot anger took over. We started screaming at each other and calling each other names and I cursed him with uncontrolled fury. It got down to juvenile name calling and challenges to resolve it in a physical manner and finally I just hung up.
As I think about the conversation I’m sickened by it and I know that Jesus was. I’ve worked so hard through the decades to control my temper and have made vast improvements. Truthfully I haven’t been that mad at anyone since I was in my early twenties and I shudder to think what would have happened if we had been face to face.
The question is how could satan get the best of me and undo all of that progress in such a short period of time on the phone?
As I analyze it I’m convinced this guy deeply loves Jesus and I know that I do. I suppose the basis of our disagreement can be boiled down to pride and a reluctance to compromise. Poor communication was also a big factor. We should have resolved our disputes as they occurred instead of letting many things build up over a period of years.
I’ve read the Bible too many times to remember and begin each day with Bible study. I’m very familiar with the guidelines that Jesus and others in the Bible ordain about resolving disputes in a Godly manner.
- “Turn the other cheek”;
- Give your enemy your coat
- Don’t rejoice when your enemy stumbles
- Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult
- Do not hate those who hate you, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you
- A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
- The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
- A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit
- “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have?
There are plenty more and I have many memorized and yet I did not adhere to any of them and consequently I accomplished the diametric opposite of what I had hoped for when I asked for the meeting. So the question that begs to be answered is why did I sin in this manner?
The Apostle Paul struggled with sin in his life and he wrote this: For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
I cannot carry it out but the Holy Spirit can and it is God to whom I commit my life and soul.
Praise God for grace. I have confessed my sin, asked for forgiveness, and vowed to repent and am hopeful that I won’t have another episode of white hot anger sin for another 40 some odd years . . . I know God has forgiven me; now if I can just forgive myself . . . Sigh . . .
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
February 8, 2016 – Click here to listen