I got some disturbing news last week when the doctor looked at me and slowly shook his head, and asked if I knew just how “messed up” my neck really is. He told me that I have one ruptured and two other compressed discs just in my cervical area. Of course my lumbar region has been a mess for years requiring epidural treatment every few months.
I dryly answered that I had inkling that something was going wrong back there considering that for the last several weeks I’ve been experiencing excruciating pain between my shoulders in my upper back along with shooting pains blazing down both arms zinging down to blast my elbows just prior to slamming my wrists and hands.
He gave me some options and they all seemed glum. When I asked what he would do if it was his back he said he would choose surgery and just go ahead and have the three discs removed and fuse them together.
Ouch! That sounds painful.
Since then a dozen or more friends have sadly shook their heads and offered me their most dire warnings and stated unequivocally that I’ll never be the same. My youngest son’s observations were a little different. He focused more on comforting his mother and offering her condolences, because he said I would be “milking” this opportunity for every ounce that it was worth, every chance I got for the next several months.
Gee thanks for all the uplifting encouragement!
Others have come forward suggesting a vast array of the “best” doctors in the United States who are far better than my doctor, (whom they don’t even know) and have implied that my guy surely must be a quack because he comes from such a small town). He has done some 3500 of these operations and seemed to have his stuff together to me???
Some have come forward with names of chiropractors, (which I always felt were really witch doctors), personal exercise gurus, health food experts, acupuncture therapists, and one young lady told me after church Sunday that her back was in worse shape than mine with 3 ruptured discs and she and her mother went to NYC and met with an ex-NFL player that had founded a treatment center for neck and back pain and got her started on yoga. After being flat on her back for months experiencing horrific pain and without surgery she was completely healed. She is now riding horses that jump obstacles again and happy as a lark.
Somehow I cannot imagine myself with my legs folded or standing on my head with my old back folded double. She appeared to be maybe in her 20’s and I’m 68 she might be just a tad more flexible than I. (Do you think?)
I sent my MRI and report to a family friend in Atlanta who is a back surgeon and he said he will call me today and offer more advice. I also have a friend in Tampa who has recommended their Laser Spine Institute and offered to get me in if I want to go there.
Finally there are all my Spirit filled friends who insist that I pray my way through it and rely strictly on God to heal me. Our church prayed over me yesterday and many of my friends are praying for me and I realize that God can heal anyone, heck he can even raise us from the dead if so inclined. I know He could do it, but will He?
Wow! What should I do? I’m praying that God will give me direction and while I’m making up my mind I’m praying that I don’t get addicted to pain medication which is actually my greatest fear.
This is one of those times when I wish God would just sit down on the couch with me and tell me, “Okay Bob this is what I want you to do, listen carefully . . .
So far anyway I’ve nothing from God but dead silence. It is times like this that I assume that He wants me to use the intellect that He has given me and make the best informed decision that I can based upon what I learn over the next few days.
I will pray over it and ask you to please do the same provided you are so inclined.
As I was thinking about all of this today I thought of all of the damage my body has suffered with broken bones galore from car and motorcycle wrecks, vicious fights, trampled by horses, football injuries, and then there were the years of drugs and alcohol and on and on and on. To tell you the truth I never thought I would live past 25 or 30 years old maximum, but here I am stuck in this old beat up, worn out body still kicking. I guess God is not done with me yet.
Why”
I read a Justin Taylor article recently about the Apostle Paul in which Scott Hafeman was quoted as putting it this way:
“Paul’s primary emphasis is on “the relationship between suffering and the power of the Spirit in Paul’s apostolic life, ministry, and message.” Paul sees his own physical suffering and spiritual renewal – “though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day” as a presentation of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.”
Before I get too worked up over my suffering I should consider Paul’s afflictions.
In 2 Cor. 11:23-28, Paul reluctantly recounts his resume of suffering, which included imprisonments, countless beatings, and near-death experiences:
- whipped with 39 lashes (5 different times)
- beaten with rods (3 different times)
- pummeled with stones (1 time)
- shipwrecked (3 times)
- adrift at sea (one night, one day)
- journeys (frequent)
- danger from rivers
- danger from robbers
- danger from his own people
- danger from Gentiles
- danger in the city
- danger in the wilderness
- danger at sea
- danger from false brothers
- toil and hardship
- sleepless nights (many)
- hungry and thirsty (often)
- cold and exposed
- the pressure of anxiety for all the churches (daily)
And yet given his radically God-centered worldview, Paul calls such suffering “light” and “momentary”!
Onward!
2 Cor.4:8
We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.
January 12, 2015 – Click here to listen