One of the saddest moments of my life was at my brother’s funeral. Not one person aside from family attended his funeral. In fact family served as pall bearers. This deeply affected me for many years and I still find it difficult to accept. Jim was 55 years old when He died and one would think that someone who’d lived an entire lifetime would at least have one friend who cared enough about him to attend his funeral. It’s no small wonder to me that he committed suicide.
I frequently receive letters from inmates and generally they follow the same theme. No one comes to see them in prison, no one writes them, they don’t have any real friends on the inside or on the outside, and it’s a dangerous situation in which they find themselves and they fear for their lives and safety most of the time, and feel as though they’re all alone. It’s a tortured existence.
I visited one such man and he told me that no one had visited him in 30 years and he only agreed to meet with me because he wanted to know what was happening outside the walls. Can you imagine?
I didn’t have any friends until I was probably 30 years old. Now I have them all over the world. I like that far better. Yesterday was my birthday and I got hundreds of Happy Birthday wishes by e-mail, from around the country as well as phone calls and in person salaams. I was trapped in meetings all day and simply didn’t have time to respond to all of them, but I am appreciative and I thank you all for your thoughtfulness and kind wishes, (even the digs about me getting old)!
Actually the Bible contains quite a large amount of advice concerning our having friends and it states that having the right kind of friends is something to be greatly desired. As with many things in the Bible, some ignore its advice and as a result do not get as much out of their lives as they otherwise could were they to heed the advice of the Lord.
Celebrated intellectual and one time atheist turned Christian C.S. Lewis once said, “Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?” I can honestly say that in my life I’ve never enjoyed anything as much as fellowship in several of the different Sunday school classes that I was a part of and I’ve enjoyed the friendships that evolved from those experiences as much as anything in my life. My close Christian friends are among my greatest treasures in all of life. Interestingly the Bible tells us to treat friends as valuable treasure.
One thing I particularly enjoy is learning from my friends. C.S. Lewis also said, “The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.” This goes along with the verse Proverbs 13:20 – Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. I’ve been helped enormously by godly counsel from friends that I met in Sunday school, prison ministry, and elsewhere.
We are of course cautioned by our Lord about choosing our friends wisely and in many cases it would be preferable to walk alone, than to run with those who will corrupt us. Consider: Proverbs 12:26 – A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Or one of my all-time favorites: 1 Corinthians: 15:33 – Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
The Bible tells us that in order to have friends we must ourselves be friendly. Jesus is our greatest friend. He said in James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. I think this applies not only to God but to most folks. If we draw close to others they will draw close to us. If we ignore them, chances are they will ignore us. So if you are sitting around waiting for someone to call you and invite you to a party, then maybe you should call them and invite them to your party.
Of course the “Golden Rule” should apply as in treating others as you would like to be treated. In fact the bible is specific in offering some advice in that regard: Romans 12:10 – Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.
Hmmm…Out do your friend in showing honor… Selah… Whom can you honor today? I hope it’s Jesus and not the world…(We don’t need any enemies and especially we do not want to become an enemy of God.)
James 4:4
You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.