I was interviewed for a magazine article this week and the lady began telling me about her last interviewee for a cover story, and it turns out that this person was badly abused by her father. In fact scars caused by his pouring hot grease on her arms are still evident today, many years after it happened.
I mentioned to this lady that even though they cannot be seen by the naked eye, one could assume that the emotional and mental scars are still there just the same.
Yesterday I received the following statistics from my friend, Bill Glass, former NFL star and founder of the Bill Glass Champions for Life prison ministry:
63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes
71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes
These statistics drive home the point to me that our lives are deeply affected by whether a father is absent or abusive, or fulltime and loving, and fathers seem to define our roles in life more than any other singular thing.
This Sunday is Father’s Day. The Bible tells us to honor our Fathers and our Mothers too; in fact it is the fifth commandment in the “Big Ten”, and has the distinction of being the first commandment with a promise, (that our days will be long in the land).
So what if you were abandoned or abused by your father?
There is no “unless” statement in the Bible stating honor them “unless” they deserted you or poured hot grease on your arms, or otherwise tormented you.
Some folks will undoubtedly feel that they don’t care if it is in the Ten Commandments or not, they aren’t about to honor someone who caused them so much pain in their lives.
My feeling on the matter is that God alone can change the heart to replace hatred and bitterness with forgiveness and grace emulated love. Forgiveness is about YOU and not so much about the individual that you forgive. God knows this and I believe this is a major part of His reasoning for insisting that we forgive others for their misdeeds against us.
Which brings me back to my point that only God can change the heart and we must really work hard to allow Him inside. If our hearts are hard as a rock and dry as a bone and we will not allow Him in, then who does it hurt? That abusive parent? God?
Duhhh… It hurts US!
Follow the example of Jesus on the cross “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”.
And you fathers of young children bear your responsibilities for raising them up responsibly and lovingly, with the full knowledge of what it will mean in their development.
I read where government statistics indicate that 72% of African American children are born out of wedlock; this compares to 41% of the rest of the population. It is frightening to view the foregoing statistics of how most of those children raised in single parent homes will end up in abject poverty, addicted to drugs and alcohol, involved with crime, miserable and forlorn, and…just messed up.
It is a direct result of the immoral direction our country is evolving. You won’t hear our present government leaders, (especially President Obama), railing about the immoral direction our country is taking though. No, sadly they are more interested in railing against the “religious right” and banning any activity involving God which ironically is the only solution to the problems that we face.
That’s the way it is though and besides governments shouldn’t be raising our kids anyway; they do a lousy job at everything else, and they’d just make a mess of that too. Fathers, (and mothers), stay at home, raise your children, treat them well, teach them Godly principles, and most importantly LOVE them…
Eph. 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.