Today is my anniversary and my wife and I are celebrating 41 years of marriage. I asked her last night if she were limited to a singular comment that would best describe those many years of marriage, what would it be? She didn’t even hesitate and said, “I would say that it’s been great fun!”
I don’t know if you’ve seen the Coors beer commercial in which former coach Jim Mora of the New Orleans Saints was being interviewed at a press conference and one of the reporters asked him if he thought their team would make the playoffs. Mora looked at him with an incredulous look like he had lost his mind, (the Saints were pathetic that year), and exclaimed, “Playoffs? PLAYOFFS? Are you kidding me? PLAYOFFS? He waited for a moment and then began his tirade again, only in earnest this time: Playoffs? PLAYOFFS? Are you kidding me?
It’s an incredibly funny commercial and for whatever reason it came to my mind when my wife said, “It’s been great fun”. I looked at her with an incredulous look as if she’d lost her mind and said, “Fun? FUN? Are you kidding me? FUN? I waited for a moment and then began again in earnest, Fun? FUN? Are you kidding me? FUN?
I thought this little routine was hilariously funny, but just then I noticed a withering – castrating – look emanating from my wife’s glowering face. I had planned to counter with even more comedic relief and tell her my singular thought about being married 41 years was going to be that it was an incredibly: “Long, LONG, Long – Very LONG… long… long… Long-Long-Long, time”.
Hmmm…
A big smile flashed across my face and I quickly said, “I’m just kidding darlin’, our marriage has been filled with great fun – every single day. That’s actually a perfect way to describe it! Great Fun!”
So what is the secret to having a long successful marriage? I would say Shakespeare’s character Falstaff described it best,
“The better part of valor is
discretion, in the which better part I have sav’d my life.”
I like to kid around with my wife, but you can believe that I thank God often that I’m married to the best person anyone could ever know and her description of our marriage is excellent. We have had great fun together and today we love each other more than ever.
The Bible has much to say about marriage and its importance and it provides special insight as to how God views it, stating in Proverbs: The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.
I am exceedingly thankful that I received undeserved “favor from the LORD”. Why He chose to bless some rebellious, hard headed, stiff necked, obstinate, sinner of all sinners like me is beyond my comprehension and I will never understand divine grace. If I were Him I would have snuffed me out with a double tap to the brain; said, “Good riddance”, and been done with it long before I reached 23 years old. But God is compassionate beyond measure and such evil thoughts do not even enter His Spirit.
I believe in all His infinite wisdom that He knew that I needed Teresa to help steady and anchor me and hold me in place. Otherwise I most likely would have drifted away from the peaceful serenity and goodness that I enjoy with her today, and given back in to temptation and the self destructive behavior of my youth, which would have led me straight into the abyss.
I know that now, but I cannot boast that I’ve always understood how valuable a treasure she is to me. Like many married people, early in our marriage we experienced some treacherous storms, largely created by me, (and no doubt satanically inspired). There was a time when I was contemplating ditching my wife and kids. I was prideful, arrogant, and full of myself, and I desired freedom to find something better. I viewed my wife as an anchor all right; an anchor that was dragging me down, holding me back, and drowning me.
One day I instigated an argument over nothing and then stormed out of the house and left home. I moved into a large grandiose bachelor pad mansion by myself and thought I would soon be divorced and then I would become the most eligible bachelor on the planet. I had narcissistic delusions and envisioned junkets to Paris, Monaco, Amsterdam, and Vegas accompanied by beautiful models half my age hanging on each arm.
I started dressing like a pimp with garish clothes and Italian pointed toed shoes. I worked out in the gym to a high degree of buffness which I displayed by wearing sleeveless tee shirts that were two sizes too small. In an effort to look younger I experimented with dyeing my hair. (I’m sure it was as humorous to God as it was my employees when it turned midnight black and I ended up looking like Roy Orbison for several months while it grew back out.) I also carried huge sums of cash, wore a gold chain with a doubloon which could be seen through my unbuttoned shirts, and I drove a bright red Porsche often at 120 miles per hour. I was primed and ready for some styling and profiling!
Egad! What was I thinking? Not only did I look and act like a fool, but I was never more lonely and miserable in my life those few weeks. One night I was sitting there all alone in my big mansion eating two day old pizza and I could have heard a pin drop on the white marble floors in my solitude. I began wondering what was going on back at home. Tears streamed down my face as I pictured my faithful wife cooking dinner, with the washer and dryer chugging, TV on with no one watching, and the boys running all over the house playing cowboys and Indians with the dog close on their heels yapping for all he was worth.
I looked around my empty “bachelor pad” and it reminded me of a mausoleum; cold and lonely and totally devoid of love. I went into my massive bedroom and fell back on my huge bed and stared at the ceiling and asked God to forgive me. I beat it back on home and knocked on the door and asked my wife if I could come home. She threw her arms around me and hugged me as each of our two sons hugged a separate leg. I’ve never ever considered leaving again, and never will.
Hmmm… there can be no doubt that a wonderful spouse is a gift of God. Jesus equates a spouse to treasure and we should treat them accordingly. Most of us think of treasure as a noun defined as being equivalent to great wealth and fortune such as gold, cash, or riches.
I was thinking that the term “treasure” can also be used as a verb, (I treasure my wife), and can be defined as cherishing something.
Indeed my wife qualifies for both definitions. I value her far more than any material thing and I love and cherish her with all of my heart. Only my love for Jesus Christ exceeds my love for her.
I thank God that I came to my senses and abandoned any plans of getting a divorce. Today my only hope is that she outlives me because I wouldn’t want to bear the pain of living without her.
How about you? Do you value your spouse as you would great treasure? Do you treat your husband or wife accordingly? Are you thankful for receiving “favor from the LORD” because of the presence of your spouse in your life?
We need to think about such things….Selah…
Proverbs 19:14
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.