I don’t know why, but for whatever reason if I become a fan for any football team it becomes a curse upon them. I’m thinking of applying for a job in Las Vegas for odds makers. If I root for a team, it’s like a kiss of death to them, and they will surely lose no matter how heavily favored. Gamblers could bet against the teams I like and rake in millions.
My wife is the same way with potted plants. She can buy the healthiest plant in the store and it will be dead in a week. I tell her she has a black thumb (of death) instead of a green one in that regard.
As I talk with some of the dozens of couples that stream through Honey Lake Plantation each week who are planning their weddings, I try to put out of my mind the disturbing fact that one out of two marriages don’t make it in this country. The couples are madly in love and all smiles, and divorce is miles away from their minds. I wish they would seek counsel from someone who could advise them of some of the necessary ingredients for a lasting marriage, but alas they are so infatuated they literally cannot conceive of their marriage failing and probably wouldn’t listen.
The other day when I was giving my testimony at a prison, I found it interesting that the inmates didn’t give me their loudest applause for transitioning from being homeless to a multi-millionaire, but instead loudly applauded the fact that I’ve been married to the same woman for forty years. So many of these fellows come from broken homes or have had serious problems with their own marriages that a four decade long successful marriage is greatly admired and is something that they just don’t see all that often.
It’s another sad commentary on our society that our divorce rate is so high, especially when children are involved. In my upcoming Success Seminar I’m going to present my thoughts on the subject of building a lasting marriage.
I often hear the idiom, “Theirs is a marriage that was made in heaven”. This of course alludes to the perfect combination of two people, or if you will, a match made in heaven. One would assume that a “perfect combination” would mean that the man and the woman have similar belief systems which I believe to be very important, if not critical for success.
In 2 Corinthians Paul tells us not to be unequally yoked. This phrase referred to the necessity of yoking two oxen of the same kind to a wagon, something the agricultural community of Corinth could easily understand. If the oxen were unequally yoked, they would not work together as a team to pull the heavy wagon and may buck, bite, and kick the fire out of someone.
Many believe this verse is referring to marriage and while I agree that it applies to marriage, I don’t think that it is restricted just to marriage, and could apply to all kinds of situations like partnerships in businesses, etc. The verse states: “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?”
I’m not advocating divorcing a spouse who is not a believer; I’m just stating the obvious, that things would work out better if both people in a marriage have similar belief systems. Couples contemplating marriage should use due consideration about their respective belief systems and build their marriage on the foundation of Jesus Christ and not the world.
Okay you might say I know a couple that had similar belief systems and they got divorced anyway. This could be a problem similar to my wife’s potted plant problem. In her case she does not understand the concept of a plant needing water to live. A marriage needs nurturing just like a plant needs it. It takes some work, because people who might be perfectly matched are still not perfect.
Far too many spouses expect their spouse to be perfect. They must always be beautiful, handsome, in a great mood, a terrific conversationalist, witty, charming, sexy, thoughtful, considerate, non-pouting, a great cook, a great housekeeper, intelligent, and well…just like me.
Huh?
Gulp, you mean to say that I’m not perfect????
Hmmm… I suppose that means I need to overlook my spouse’s faults because I have a few of my own.
Yikes! I just saw a frightening sight. My wife just shuffled by in her robe wearing no makeup and tousled hair. She’s now grumbling at me from the kitchen because I haven’t made the coffee yet.
My retort, “Take me to your leader”.
A sense of humor is also a great trait for marriage. Judging from the glowering look I just received, my wife is devoid of one. I guess I will just have to overlook that little problem. It really isn’t a perfect world and that special dream person does not exist except maybe in our dreams. Don’t look over the fence at the green lush pasture. As soon as you get over there it will look greener where you’ve already been.
My wife and I have endured many trials through the years, but we fought through them together. Today divorce does not enter my mind. After a couple of close calls we finally decided that divorce should be eliminated from our vocabulary in resolving marital disputes. Now we have other options: guns, knives, clubs, fists, arm wrestling, debates, or water pistols, but we will not utter the word divorce.
We all see the ill effects of divorce and broken homes. In fact I think it is one of the leading causes of addictions, anti-social behavior, violence, disillusionment, and suicide. It’s no wonder that God feels about it as He does…
Have a great weekend and go to church this Sunday!
Malachi 2:16
I hate divorce,” says the LORD God….