Paired mules

Yesterday a lady asked me to write a WFTD concerning the topic of how God views marriage. I responded that I had written about this subject multiple times through the past 11 years and she could go to my website, (link at the bottom of this e-mail, and there is a searchable database. I told her that she should first press the search key and then type in the keyword, “marriage”, and all of the past WFTD with that word in it would appear. I don’t know how many of you are aware that this feature exists, but all 11 year’s worth are stored on that searchable database and available for your perusal by keyword search.

She has been married just one and a half years and I have been married forty. With 51% of marriages in the country failing, I am thankful mine has not failed. I suppose as I ponder the question of how God views marriage the overriding thought that comes to my mind is, how important it is to Jesus Christ. The Bible refers to marriage in terms of being analogous to His marriage to His church. Paul instructed men that we should love our wives as God loves the church. If God values it that much, how much more so should we value it and thus work hard to compromise with each other when necessary, realizing that neither party is perfect.

Jesus gave His life for the church and that tells us something. He also instructed women to be submissive to their husbands and that the man should be the head of the household. Okay all you women’s lippers, please don’t write me, I’m just the messenger and did not do anything more or less than repeat what the Bible has to say about the subject. It’s His world and that is how He set it up. He also set it up where He would be the ultimate head of the household. If you want to question it, or believe all of the Bible but this section, you have a free will and that is your prerogative. Please don’t bug me about this today; I have the flu and am already suffering enough.

I went quail hunting the other day and the extra dogs and a few of the hunters rode on a wagon that was pulled by a matched set of mules. The old man driving the wagon told me that those mules had been paired up all of their lives and if anything ever happened to either one of them, the remaining mule would never pull a wagon again, because it would not be able to work with another mule.

The Bible warns us not to be unequally “yoked”. In ancient times oxen were used to plow and the ideal scenario was for a matched set to be yoked together. Unmatched sets would pull in different directions and perhaps fall down. The agricultural civilization that this was addressed to easily understood this concept as we can today.

Many people believe this passage means that Christians should marry Christians instead of non-Christians and certainly that marriage should consist of a woman and a man.

I read some commentary from a guy named Al Maxey that seemed to make sense concerning this discussion.

“In fairness, we must acknowledge that Paul, does not specifically or directly refer to the marriage relationship. Nowhere will one find the command, “Thou shalt not marry an unbeliever.” Indeed, we find reference in the NT writings to such unions. Paul, in 1 Cor. 7:12-16, speaks to those who are married to unbelievers, encouraging them to stay together, working to bring their partners to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. The apostle Peter also encourages wives of unbelievers to work to win their husbands to the Lord (1 Peter 3:1-2). Obviously, religiously mixed marriages are not the ideal situation. In fact, there are serious problems involved with such unions, and many are destined to fail. Nevertheless, they do exist, and Christians who find themselves in such circumstances should do their best to bring a positive influence to these relationships.

Very few people will argue with the premise, however, that the ideal is for believers to marry other believers. This may very well be the intent of the apostle Paul in his instruction to widows — “if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39). This is about as close to an injunction against marriage to unbelievers that one will find, but even this passage is open to various possible interpretations, thus one should not be dogmatic regarding his personal perception.


I feel very strongly that such unions will present some difficult challenges to both spouses; it is simply asking for trouble! One of the passages I quote in every wedding ceremony I perform is from the first epistle of the apostle Peter. He charged husbands and wives to be “heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7). When husbands and wives journey together toward their heavenly home that is the IDEAL in marriage. That ideal is not realized when husbands and wives are traveling separate paths spiritually. They are “unequally yoked” … they are pulling in different directions. The tragedy is that many believers are pulled down the path to destruction by the unbelievers. That is the very real danger of being “unequally yoked” with unbelievers. This is especially true in the marital relationship.”

My contextual grasp of the Bible is that God wants us to marry and become as one. Whether Christians from the outset or a conversion after the marriage God has to ultimately be at the head of every household or it will fail. With that said like any earthly endeavor it takes some effort and tenacity to build a successful marriage. In today’s society it is easy just to say to heck with it and head to some sleaze ball divorce attorney’s office, but we should resist those efforts with everything we have and realize those thoughts come from satan and not God.

I honestly believe that pride destroys more marriages than anything. Someone makes a mistake, someone gets hurt, and someone refuses to get over it.

Life is too short. Accept the apology or forgive without one, get in a good church, study the Bible daily, pray ceaselessly, and live as “heirs together in the grace of life”. As my hair has slowly turned white I have learned that life can be good if on occasion we are willing to swallow our pride and perhaps eat a little crow; (it doesn’t taste too bad – try some Woostershire sauce



Ecclesiastes 12:6-7


Life, lovely while it lasts, is soon over.
Life as we know it, precious and beautiful, ends.
The body is put back in the same ground it came from.
The spirit returns to God, who first breathed it.