Dreaded call

Okay so I’m working on my website having fun selecting photos and I get a phone call. It is a nurse at the doctor’s office and she is calling in regard to the chest X-Ray I took. There is something on one of my lungs that shouldn’t be there. She wants to know if I’m a smoker or if I’ve ever smoked. Well I smoked from the time I was 11 or 12 until the age of 24 but that was forty years ago, I’m 64 now. She says it could be pneumonia, but they need to find out and I need a CAT scan.

Hmmm That’s a nice piece of news. Anyone who has read my book understands that I have faced many challenges through the years. So what runs through someone’s mind at this point? Lung cancer seems to top the list, although it would be the least logical. I’ve been sick with the flu for nearly two weeks, coughing and running a modest fever, logically one would think it would be pneumonia or some similar infection of the lungs, before leaping to the dreaded C word.

My CAT scan is not until next Tuesday so I have to wait. That seems to me to be the worst part. If they do determine that it is a growth of some sort, then they will want a biopsy. More waiting to schedule surgery, and then? And then more waiting to receive the results. (If I’m disgusted with the pace now I can only imagine how bad it will be in a couple of years if they don’t repeal Obama Care.)

I’m not a worrier especially about tomorrow. For one thing we aren’t even guaranteed a tomorrow. It is hard enough to get through the stuff that happens in a day much less worry about things that may or may not ever occur sometime in a future that is not guaranteed. Does that make sense? Maybe not, but God has brought me this far through unimaginable storms and my faith is rock solid. I want His will to be done in my life and not my own will and even if I didn’t want it, that is what will happen.

I think of Jesus as He faced the worst event that ever faced anyone or ever will face anyone in the entire history of mankind. Jesus knew what was going to come down on the cross etc. prior to praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. He prayed so hard that He actually sweated blood. He asked God that if there was any way to avoid going through what He knew He had to go through to please “spare Him that cup”, but in the end He said, “Nonetheless Father, your will be done and not mine”.

I ask God to heal me up without further adieu and if at all possible to spare me surgery or chemo or being laid up in some hospital and if He doesn’t mind if He could put some horseback riding and quail and turkey hunting back in my cup I would appreciate it, but nonetheless His will be done and not mine.


Matt 6:34
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.