Don’t fight pithy with pithy

I have not felt good for the last few days and have used the occasion to project what one could best describe to be a “pithy” demeanor. That’s assuming that someone knows what “pithy” means. To those not tuned in to “pithy”, substitute “curt” or perhaps “terse” and you can get the picture. I use pithy because well it just better describes how I feel at the moment.

I awoke this morning and when I visited the bathroom and looked in the mirror I noticed that my shirt was on backwards. Not only that, but I was wearing it inside out. I don’t care, and in fact as of the moment of this writing I’m still wearing it that way. I noticed too when I saw my eyes glaring back at myself from the mirror that my pithy mood has carried over to today.

If someone were to see me, they might think I was a pithy slob. To be sure it is indeed a fact that I’m glaring even at myself and I’ve needed a haircut for several weeks and my long matted hair is askew, and I’m wearing the same black pajama bottoms that I’ve worn for several days, and a shirt that is inside out and on backwards, and furry bedroom slippers.

Egad what’s wrong with me?

According to my ex-administrative assistant, it’s just normal fare for me to be pithy. Since I left Horizon I have not touched base with her for quite some length of time. Yesterday I wrote her for an address that I needed. She called me back and gave me the address, and then while she had me on the phone she used the occasion to chew me out for not giving her, my “ex”- faithful administrative assistant, an autographed “free” book.

I returned fire by telling her that she was a cheapskate and a tightwad for not buying one already. I then proceeded to try and make her feel really bad by telling her that since I already knew that she had an inherent tightwad character flaw, I’d already inscribed a book and made arrangements to have my son hand-deliver it to her completely free of charge on Friday.

I went on to tell her that she should be ashamed of herself and it confirms to me that she is still a New York “damn- Yankee” meanie far removed from having been converted to a southern belle full of gracious charm. (For those uninformed readers, the difference between a Yankee and a damn Yankee is that an ordinary Yankee will come down south for a nice visit and then go back home to their frigid lairs. The damn Yankee will come down for a visit and then like it so much that they will STAY, which is exactly what I reminded my former administrative assistant that she did.)

I then asked in true George Bush fashion: “Do you miss me yet?”

To which she replied: “I’ve missed you the whole time! I’m a glutton for punishment”.

Huh?

Okay so the entire point of emitting a pithy demeanor is to take it out on others because “YOU” feel bad. What good does it do to act pithy if someone just wants to ignore my pithiness and be nice?

Let me answer that one; it takes all the fun out of being pithy I tell you.

Okay even though it’s a little after 3 am and my back still hurts this morning, I just decided to lose my pithy demeanor. I’m sure it will be to the delight of my wife and others that I intend to get a haircut today, cut my long toenails, change into some fresh clothes that aren’t inside out, backwards and smell like the locker room in Gold’s gym, and importantly I’m going to smile at everyone who looks at me today even if it KILLS me.

The moral of this nonsensical idiotic – inane story is that being nice to people can be contagious, even to those of us who are by our very natures, pithy to the bone Smile at those pithy people you encounter today and be nice. It’s the only way some of us can be reached I think the Bible refers to how we should act with a four letter word – love – and not a five letter word – pithy.


Luke 6:27-31
“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”


1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Proverbs 15:1
“A gentle answer deflects anger,
but harsh words make tempers flare.”