Gazing over the fence

I went fishing with some guys one time and they were talking among themselves about marriage and to a person rejected the notion as being a bad idea. One of them related to the group that he absolutely sees no reason to get married and all it did was mess things up and the rest seemed to agree wholeheartedly. Unfortunately these guys are far removed from spiritual matters. They are all fairly young and from what I saw and heard, are to a person hard drinking, woman chasing, worldly sorts. They mainly party hard and chase women from bar to bar and fish on the weekends and go to work with a hangover and feeling bad on Monday.


Eventually they looked to me to weigh in on the subject and I stated unequivocally that I liked being married, my wife is undoubtedly my best friend, and I had been married for nearly forty years and would not want it any other way.

The lead person in the conversation stated that he had “heard of people like me”; however I was the exception and indeed a “rare bird”.

“Not really”, I told him, “Marriage is what you make of it”.

My marriage has been no continuous bed of roses and from time to time it has had its rough spots like practically any marriage. To succeed in anything takes determination, hard work, and perseverance; marriage is no exception. We worked hard at times to keep it together and we have succeeded. I know plenty of other people who have succeeded too. Those who do not are often in a constant state of trying to find someone better, (an upgrade), and do not realize that the perfect person is not out there just “over the fence” where they continually gaze.

Perfection is not found within, or in others.

God stated that when we get married we become “one”. I always felt that marriage provided good compensation for my weak or bad points and vice versa. My wife and I complement each other rather well in that light. In short no one is perfect; not our spouse and certainly not us. Logic would dictate then that we should not dwell on our spouse’s weak points or expect too much as we all have shortcomings. Together we are far stronger and better equipped to deal with the problems presented by the world than alone.

The Bible tells us that in the beginning Adam was quite lonely when he was just by himself; this in spite of the fact that he was in the Garden of Eden which was quite the lovely place, and he got to walk and talk directly to God on a daily basis. God created Eve as a companion and friend for Adam and then they conceived and the family was formed thereby fulfilling God’s design for mankind.

Thousands of years later things are not really that much different. Alone most people are mostly, well lonely and unfulfilled. Marriage and family are far better than that lonely existence at least in my mind. There are exceptions and the Bible mentions them in passing, but by and large God designed the family unit for mankind at large and who are we to question the Creator’s design.

I think these young “bucks” have a ways to go in understanding life. It was difficult to try and make them understand spiritual concepts out on a boat running down dolphin. I drank water and they drank beer; they put marriage down and I defended it as being one of the best things in life. I know they cannot experience joy and peace without God and understanding His plan for their lives. I hope that they might look to my life and notice somehow that having a good marriage and a relationship with God is far better than not

Eph. 5:28
So husbands ought to love their
own wives as their own bodies; he
who loves his wife loves himself

And let the wife see that she
respects her husband.