Maintain control!

When I was a very young child my mom told me that I had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The devil on my left shoulder was always trying to get me to do bad things and the angel who was perched on my right shoulder who was watching all of this was trying to help me to fight him off and do good things.

I never forgot what she told me and when I got older I referred to it as my “dark side” and my “angel of light”. I discovered later in life that what my mother told me as a child is not far from the truth. Satan is of course the “dark side” and the “angel of light” is Jesus Christ. My dark side encouraged my addictions and violence and Jesus wanted me to follow Him and avoid all of the grief.

As I approach completion of the rough draft of my memoirs, I have contemplated including a reflection chapter that sums up the lessons learned in my journey. I sometimes look back on my life and smile as I notice how far I have come from those bad days that were ruled by my dark side. I sometimes smugly think I have conquered drug addiction alcoholism, nicotine, the crazy violence, and a raft of other bad things and then I remember just how far I have to go.

Conquered?

Hmmm I don’t think satan is ever completely conquered in this world. At best we can hold him at bay. This reminds me of the time I was standing in the back of a pickup being driven across a pasture. I was hanging on for dear life as a buddy of mine was driving wildly through the uneven ground trying to separate a huge wild bull from the cows in the pasture where we could use our dogs to catch him. This bull had gone wild a couple of years earlier and was living in the woods adjacent to the pasture. He would jump the farmer’s fence and breed the registered cows that resided there and since the wild bull was not the same breed, it was driving the farmer crazy. We owned a pack of “catch” dogs used to catch cows and wild hogs and he called us to come catch and remove the bull from his herd and life.

We had an entire truckload of snarling raging bulldogs in rebar cages in the back of the pickup where I was clinging for my life. Once the bull was separated from the herd we would release the bulldogs and use them to catch him. The dogs that we used to catch cows and wild hogs were necessarily vicious. Most had bloodlines that included a large dosage of the ferocious pit bulldog in them and they knew no fear.

As we bounced across the pasture the dogs knew that they would soon be released and had worked themselves into a crazed frenzy. When these dogs go crazy like that they become dangerous and have been known to attack literally anything that moves including their owner. I’ve only seen it happen a couple of times, but it can be dangerous. They were so riled up and excited by the wild ride and the cows running through the pasture that they began viciously snapping and biting at me through the cage. My face was a few mere inches away from one raging snarling bulldog and I was looking at him eyeball to eyeball as he desperately tried to bite at me through that cage. I could see that he wanted to tear me to pieces.

That is how I envision satan as a raging snarling vicious creature trying to rip me to pieces if he can only get out of his cage. Yesterday I got so mad at someone that I could hardly contain myself. I was so disappointed in myself because one of my primary goals is to control my temper. Fortunately I did ultimately control my temper and defuse the situation, but frustrated or not I should have done better than I did.

We all have temptations and we should recognize it as satan wanting to be allowed out of the cage where he is being held at bay. Temptation to knock someone’s head off, temptation to drink, temptation to lust, lie, covet, steal, swear, take drugs, to swell up with pride, tell dirty jokes, demean other people, and on and on all come from our dark sides, (satan).

Lest you think I exaggerate how ferocious satan really is remember that the Bible describes satan as a roaring lion which walks around desiring to rip us to pieces. A lion dear brethren is far more ferocious than the pit bulldog that was trying to bite me.

I continue to tell myself every single day that I must, “Maintain control”. Won’t you join me? Resist the urge this holiday season to drink too much alcohol, overeat, fight with relatives and friends and get into other mischief. Call upon the name of the Lord to assist you every minute of every day and let your conduct make your “angel of light” proud.

Phil. 1:27
Only let your conduct be worthy of the Gospel of Jesus Christ..