The untamable tongue

On my very first day of official full retirement from Horizon I was corresponding about a matter to one of my former employees and ended the e-mail by stating that I had enjoyed knowing him and working with him and wished him good luck. The response was disconcerting to say the least. This person wrote back and stated that honestly he could say that he had enjoyed working for me at times and at other times not so much.

Hmmm. I wrote him back and stated that candor is honest but not always useful. I could honestly say that I did not always enjoy working with him either, but then again if I were to do so, that would be rude, would it not? I did not receive a response.

Behavior like this is baffling to me. Some things are simply best left unsaid especially when utilizing a cowardly format of waiting until I am no longer employed and then sending a nasty message via e-mail especially in response to a very nice attempt at saying “so long”.

If this was such a big issue to him and was apparently bothering him so much, he should have done as I would have done and addressed it while I was still working there and been man enough to ask for a meeting, come into my office, shut the door and and talk it over face to face, eye to piercing eye.

I could “honestly” say the exact same thing that he said about me about many employees including him and it would be honest and true, but I don’t need any more enemies. Who can honestly say that they need a few more enemies stalking around out there just waiting for the opportunity to get even?

I have learned through the years not to burn bridges. I have never burned a bridge that I did not regret. Maybe the rather shallow accomplishment of getting something off of your chest is accomplished, but some day, some way it always seems to work its way back around and “bite” you! I think the Lord sees to that.


I don’t mind if there are those out there who do not like me, because there are those out there whom I do not like. Someone has wisely said that you cannot please all of the people all of the time. I would add that one would go batty even trying to accomplish such an impossible silly task.

I have tried to teach my boys and managers that I have mentored and trained to put aside personal likes and dislikes when managing people. People are different. It is extremely difficult and I would wager impossible to always like everyone that you work with all of the time even if you work in the tiniest business with just one or two employees.

That should not be a problem. I’ve never had to “like” someone all of the time in order to have a good professional working relationship with them. In fact I can think of a couple of employees through the years whom I consider to be excellent outstanding employees and who worked for me literally for years and in fact were promoted numerous times and given accolades through the roof. However on a personal level I was repulsed by their personal points of view on everything from their religious belief system, to politics, to personal lifestyle to the point that I would have immediately put my house up for sale and moved if they had moved next door to me.

Although we will never break bread together, I never held that against them on a professional level and to this day I have never made that fact known to them. I still have the utmost respect for what they have accomplished on a professional level. Of course there would not be much mutual respect or anything more than alienation if I pointedly told them my thoughts about them on a personal level.

The Bible tells us that the tongue cannot be tamed. Hmmm I suppose I should forgive this person even though he has not apologized nor asked for it. In my mind he has simply been another victim of the untamable tongue like all of the rest of us have at one time or other. Perhaps we should all try a little harder though and maybe think about the consequences of it prior to verbally spitting in someone’s face. As the Apostle James states, “My brethren, these things should not be so”.

James 3:8
But no man can tame the tongue.
It is an unruly evil, full of deadly
poison.
With it we bless our God and father,
and with it we curse men, who
have been made in the similitude
of God.
Out of the same mouth proceed
blessing and cursing. My brethren
these things ought not to be so.