The way of the cross leads home

I was talking to the beautiful young daughter of a friend of mine after church the other day. I had not seen her in several years and I asked her if she wasn’t somewhere around thirteen years old now. She quickly corrected me and stated that she was “almost” fourteen. “Oh” I stated, “I did not realize that you were almost’ fourteen; that makes a difference”. (Isn’t it strange how young people cannot wait to be older and older people are just the opposite. Personally I maintain that I am thirty nine years old and have been holding steady there for the past couple of decades.)

I remarked to her father that I bet he was not looking forward to his innocent little daughter’s teenage years, especially as she begins to date for the first time. He sighed deeply and nodded that it was not something that he was eagerly anticipating. He mentioned that all we can do is raise them up with Godly training and hope and pray that they will not depart from it when they grow older. In the case of my granddaughters I was thinking of supplementing that a little by meeting their would be suitors on the front porch as they arrived for their date and first pick them up by the nape of the neck and shake them violently, and then growl a stern warning to them that if they even so much as “think” about any funny business with my granddaughter they would die a slow and painful death at my hands. Then I would settle into the back seat of the car and chaperone the date for the rest of the night. (Hmmm That might be a little harsh; obviously the Lord knew what He was doing when He granted me three boys and no girls.)

I have found that it is very difficult to communicate with teenagers. My friend’s daughter politely endured my questions, but as soon as her obligatory small talk with me expired she was back to her PDA device and was deftly text messaging her teenage friends; no doubt wishing she could hurry home whereby she could change out of her church clothes and go meet up with them somewhere to talk about boys, music, and the latest fads. How could a loving father have a meaningful conversation with a youngster in their teens? Methinks that those conversations need to start at a much younger age when a child is more trusting and willing to carefully listen to the old “out of touch” folks. In other words start training up your children from the cradle; before they become a teenager and a PDA device becomes an appendage to their hand and they are distracted


I think that one key to avoiding serious problems is indeed Godly training and the Bible does confirm that if our children are raised properly according to the Word that they will not depart from that training when they grow old; however there are some things we can do over and beyond Godly training that will prove helpful. I think back to my teenage years and dating and shudder when I think about it. I would not want one of my little granddaughters dating someone like me, nor would I have wanted one of my boys hanging out with someone like I was.

Know who your children’s friends are and understand the character and value system of the people whom they consider to be friends.

Aside from training one’s children up in biblical principles, in my mind nothing is more important than your children’s friends. Running with the wrong crowd can lead to destruction. Some will say that we cannot choose our children’s friends and I say poppycock. I have forbid more than one bad kid from hanging out with one of my sons; both to my son and the kid. In my ill spent youth I went astray and I am sorry to say that I led others astray and I have seen the same thing with others and can personally attest to the fact that bad kids can undoubtedly have a bad influence on other kids. Youngsters want to be popular and sometimes the most popular kids are the worst and the peer pressure can have them drinking, drugging, and worse in order to belong. Pray for your kids and intervene while they are young whenever and wherever required. Take it from me preventing someone from going astray is far easier and less painful than leading them back home after it happens.

Proverbs 12:26
The righteous should choose
his friends carefully,
For the way of the wicked leads
them astray.