Real friend

Have you ever thought that someone was your friend only to find out later that the only reason that they were hanging out with you is because they wanted something from you? Most of us have experienced that phenomenon. Back in the early eighties I had what I thought were tons of friends. My business was growing at an enormous rate, money was no problem, and my friends and I were having a mighty good time and like that great old blues tune, “I was sitting on top of the world”. Then one day lightening struck and I discovered a major embezzlement within my companies and my businesses immediately started collapsing like the walls of Jericho. I found that some dishonest employees had stolen everything they could get their greedy hands on and in a matter of days our company sank like a deflated balloon. Money was not just tight, it was non-existent and it appeared as though I would be entering bankruptcy sooner rather than later.

As I fought my way through those dark times, I did it almost single-handedly because my so-called friends exited like cockroaches heading for cover when a light is turned on in a dark room. My family suffered for years because of this event, but none of it hurt as badly as seeing all of my supposed “friends” dump me like a hot rock the instant the money disappeared. I suppose that I learned a great lesson during those days and that lesson is that losing those so-called friends was in reality no big loss. They were never my friends in the first place and I should not have wasted all that time lamenting their departure, and instead I should have been glad that my “friends-who-were-not-really-friends” house was cleaned that day.

Through hard work and steadfast determination and after spending significant time on my knees in prayer asking for strength and help from God, I eventually fully recovered from this trial. This was in spite of the gloom and doom forecast by all of the CPA’s, lawyers, bankers, and other pundits who told me that I would have to take bankruptcy; eventually I rebuilt those companies to a point even beyond their former days of glory and I did not have to enter into bankruptcy protection.

I have taken the “lesson’s learned” from those dark times with me as I have moved on down the line of my life. Today I try very hard to carefully cultivate friends that do not care about what I can do for them, but instead just enjoy spending time together fishing, hunting, discussing business, life, or whatever. I admit it is exceedingly difficult and on occasion I am sorely disappointed and frustrated. I do realize that this friendship issue is a two way street and having personally felt the sting of disingenuous friends, I strive very hard not to be like that myself. I vow to go to the wall for my friends regardless of what they can or cannot do for me, especially in times of adversity.

I wish I could report that I am always successful in cultivating my friendships with various people, but alas we are all mere human beings and all of us fail on occasion, even if we try our utmost to work hard on our own shortcomings and overlook those of the people around us.

Fortunately we can count on one friend for the rest of our lives. The Bible plainly states that Jesus Christ is a friend like none other. He actually laid down His life for us and the Bible states that there is no greater sacrifice for a friend than that. He loves us in spite of our weaknesses and sins against Him, and has assured us with certainty that He will stick with us through the hard times as well as the good times. I was reading a verse in Proverbs, (see below), about friendship this morning and it reminded me of Jesus Christ our best friend. Isn’t it a shame that we cannot emulate Him and love at all times like Christ does even in spite of other people’s mistakes and shortcomings in life?

It is not lost on me that even our perfect and holy friend Jesus Christ is spurned by many, and that knowledge helps me on those occasions when my efforts at cultivating a good friendship occasionally fails and I lose a so called “friend”. Don’t get down on friendship just because a supposed “friend” dumps on you; it happens to someone far greater than us on a daily basis, and yet He is always standing at the door awaiting that next person to ask Him to come into their life and yes even to forgive that person who spurned Him yesterday provided they will do their part.

Aren’t you glad that you have a friend in Jesus?

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times