No cuss no fuss

Our pastor read part of a letter from one of the flock to the congregation the other day. This dude had a problem with cussing. He told the pastor that it was a nasty and embarrassing habit and he was really having trouble controlling it. He decided that he would fine himself one dollar and donate it to the church building fund every time he slipped up and uttered a cussword. He went on to say he was enclosing twenty dollars as his first payment. I was thinking that if I used that system not only could our church get built but I could probably add a wing on the local hospital and perhaps build a library and that would be on one fishing trip with one of my friends whose rotten fishing skills test me beyond my ability to cope with it. I have personally tried the fining system to curb my cussing, and it was very successful in transferring funds from me to others, but it did not slow down my profanity one whit. I hope this poor guy has better luck than me in that regard.

I have tried other methods too. I was looking through some old photos the other day in order to provide some photos of me in my younger days to a magazine that is doing an article about me. I was looking at one photo and I was on a motorcycle. It was taken some twenty years ago. I happened to notice a large rubber band on my wrist, and I actually broke out laughing when I saw it. Back in those days I utilized the rubber band as a form of corporal punishment to myself. If I slipped up and cussed, I would snap myself very hard on the wrist with the rubber band. Sometimes if I was particularly naughty and uttered an oath that would blister the bark off a tree, I would snap it exceedingly hard and it would actually bring tears to my eyes as a big red welt formed on my wrist. Alas this method failed also and eventually I quit wearing one.

This malady has been plaguing me for a long time. Hmmm In my life I have been successful in defeating drug addiction, alcoholism, smoking cigarettes, and other serious problems “cold turkey”. Could it be that I must enter “profanity-rehab” for this addiction instead of conquering it on my own? When I do the self-improvement portion of my annual goals each year, this problem is always right there near the top of the list. Generally I am successful in achieving all of my goals but this one has proven to be a toughie.

I watched an interview with the comedian Eddie Murphy one time and there were so many bleeps in the conversation that one could hardly follow the conversation. I think it was Barbara Walters that was interviewing him and she asked him about it. He told her that was how people talked where he was raised and laughed it off. All I can say is that they don’t think much of their mothers in that neighborhood.

I am renewing my effort to stop cussing and am undertaking a far more serious approach this time as it is affecting my Christian witness and that is exceedingly important to me. I have an inordinate amount of friends who are not Christians and some of them look to me as the only Christian that they know. What kind of example do I set, if I cuss like a sailor? Is that what being a Christian is all about? It really harms my Christian witness to them I tell you. Actually the Bible describes how this must appear to those around me who have refused to accept Christ as their Savior far more eloquently than I ever could.

Proverbs 25:26
A righteous man who falters
before the wicked
Is like a murky spring and a
polluted well.