Love train

My father and I were talking the other day and he reminded me that in my youth I was quite convinced that I would not live to see thirty years old; (and with the lifestyle I was living at the time it is indeed a miracle that my beliefs concerning this subject did not come true). When I surpassed that age I became convinced that I would not live past the age of fifty-five as all of my known relatives who were males did not make it past that age with the lone exception of my father, (not exactly the gene pool conducive to reaching 100). Lo and behold to my surprise I am still alive and kicking at 61.

I got a letter from someone near and dear to me the other day and she is quite concerned about the uncertainties of growing old and all of the what-if’s” associated with this final phase of life that she has entered. As we grow old and our health begins to fade and we face the fact that death will overtake us sooner rather than later, it can be a daunting challenge unless we are rock solid in our faith and we use that faith to repel satan’s incessant attack on us using worry to prevent us from achieving as much peace in this world as we could otherwise achieve.

I have quit making predictions concerning my ultimate demise, partially because I am unconcerned about it anymore and partially because worrying about it does absolutely nothing but harm. I have reached a point in my faith in which I have put myself in God’s capable hands and I trust that at the proper time of His choosing, He will take me home to be with Him to join others who have gone before me into paradise.

I know what it is like to face death and it was a difficult time for me. When I was in my mid-thirties I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. My brother’s five year old son died of one and then two years later my mother died of one. A couple of years later I started having headaches and my hand went numb. Tests including an MRI revealed that I had a massive growth in my brain and the doctors surmised it was an inoperable cyst-like brain tumor similar to the one that my mother had died from.

When I asked how long I had to live, the neurologist matter-of-factly informed me that he had a patient with symptoms like mine not long ago and she lived three days; he stated that perhaps I had six months but he doubted any longer. Whoa! I was in my mid-thirties, how could this be? As I went back to the doctors and took test after test including a spinal tap and injection of dye into my brain followed by an MRI, each test confirmed the diagnosis. I went through several stages over the next weeks, fear, anger, depression, and finally acceptance.

When I finally accepted it, my case was transferred to Emory’s cancer unit. Shortly thereafter the head radiologist called and informed me that he had examined my MRI’s and I did not have brain cancer; the others had misdiagnosed it. The huge mass they had seen was actually brain fluid that had collected in a pocket at the base of my brain. Although rare for it to do so, it was harmless. Imagine getting some news like that!

Eventually they discovered that my symptoms were stress related and a muscle was contacting and putting pressure on a nerve and causing my problems. I took a muscle relaxer cocktail and my symptoms went away in a day.

I learned some heavy lessons during this period of my life. I spent months preparing myself for death. I watched my little boys running around the house interacting with my wife and it was difficult to imagine that I would be leaving them soon. All of life took on new meaning. Some things that I thought were really important were not important anymore, and others took on new meaning. Even today decades have gone by and I try to get the utmost out of most every day, because there are no guarantees.

The Bible tells us that many billions of years ago before the creation ever occurred and God was contemplating His creation, He had each of us in mind. He set a time for us to be born and a time to die. We will stay on that schedule and nothing will alter it. With that in mind we should sit back and relax and ride His train through this life to its final destination. We should enjoy the trip, take in all of the wonderful sounds and sights and not be distracted by what-if’s. When the love train arrives right on schedule it will be at the Promised Land and we will be greeted by none other than Jesus Christ Himself.

I cannot understand His love for us, but I know it far surpasses any love I can muster, and although I cannot understand it, I appreciate that God knows me individually and loves me and will be taking excellent care of me forever. Today and every day take this sage advice: Don’t worry Be happy!

Psalms 8:3
When I consider Your
heavens, the work of Your
fingers,
The moon and the stars, which
You have ordained,
What is man that You are
mindful of him
O Lord our Lord,
How excellent is Your name in
all the earth.