Cool it!

I went to dinner with some folks the other night. The father was the only person who knew the way to the restaurant and was giving directions to his son who was driving. The father only knew one way to the restaurant and it turned out that it was not a direct route. The son asked if he should turn on a street and the father responded no, that he should go to the next street. It was not the quickest way, but again it was the only way that the father knew to get to the restaurant. When the son realized he had gone all of five miles out of the way, he made it obvious that he was frustrated at being told to go a circuitous route.

We were driving along and the son pulled into the turning lane to turn into a large shopping center. The father told him not to turn and to keep going straight that this was not where he was supposed to turn to get to the restaurant. The son kept driving in the turn lane as if he had not heard him. The father yet again told his son not to turn there, (only this time louder as he felt the son had not heard him the first time); he reiterated that the road to turn to go to the restaurant was further down the road. The son bellowed out at the top of his lungs in an exasperated tone, “I’VE GOT TO GET GAS!” This outburst took everyone by surprise; (I nearly jumped out of my seat). The young man’s mother exclaimed, “Well is that any way to act?” He did not respond.

We went on to the restaurant and as we were sitting around the table talking, the subject of wills came up. My wife’s father just passed away and he did not have a valid will and it will likely end up in probate court and chances are good that his wishes regarding who will receive his few assets will not be honored because he did not have a valid will, instead it will go into probate and a judge will decide how his assets should be divided and additionally the state will take a portion to cover its costs as well. The father looked at his son who does not have a will, and told him that he needed to get busy and get his will done so he could protect his family.

I related that my wife and I had been getting our estate in order for the past several months including wills, trusts, and “Living wills”. The father told his son that if he died without a will that he could end up paying severe penalties including losing as much as 20% of his estate and take the risk that the heirs that he loved and wanted to end up with the assets might not get them. He then reiterated that he needed to get busy and get a will. The son who had obviously heard this one too many times, glared at his father and bellowed out, “I GET IT! I GET IT!

The exasperated father looked at him and sternly told him, “Don’t talk to me that way!” The son did not apologize and just looked away with a sullen look on his face, apparently mad that his father was treating him like a complete idiot by offering the same advice over and over again.

Be that as it may, I felt like backhanding him, smacking him in the mouth, and knocking him off his chair right there in the restaurant in front of God and everybody. You might think that is un-Christian of me; however the remedy for disrespecting one’s parents in Biblical times was stoning to death; in parts of Asia it is a public caning. My remedy is mild compared to that, but any of these would rather likely be a deterrent to such behavior.

Disrespecting one’s parents is a sin and the Bible makes it very clear that God punishes sin. Make no mistake about it, God takes this particular sin quite seriously as evidenced by its inclusion as one of the Ten Commandments that we should “Honor our father and mother in order that you might live long in the land”. Note how God emphasizes in this commandment “that you might live a long life”. Does this imply that you will not live a long life if you do not obey it?


I have personal knowledge that this young man was raised in a Christian home and was taught right from wrong. He was taught to say “yes sir, no sir, yes ma’am, and no ma’am from the time he was old enough to talk. He was taught to respect his parents and others, particularly his elders and was always courteous as a young man and in fact was complimented throughout his young life for having good manners. He went off to college, got married and now is starting his young family. I never hear a yes sir or yes ma’am come out of his mouth anymore and it seems his good manners have disappeared. (So much for what is learned at college)

Youngsters need to understand that old people are sometimes difficult to deal with; however they should still be respected. This father loves his son and was showing that love in his own, (perhaps clumsy), way by trying to advise him and thereby protect him and his family. True enough the advice was unsolicited, repetitious, and apparently unwanted; however that is no reason to scream at one’s father I often try to emulate what Jesus would do in situations. Can you imagine Jesus getting exasperated and disrespecting his Father by yelling at Him because He gave Him a piece of advice once too often?


The verse below promises that if a “child” is trained in the way he should go, when he gets old he will not depart from it. That is encouraging to me. The Bible does not define old here, so I assume this kid is just immature and not grown up enough yet. He needs to make some progress though. More than likely this young man will outlive his father. Hopefully prior to that day he will develop some patience and humble himself some and show some respect to his father while he still has a chance. I’m sure he will not want to look back and remember this incident on the sad day they read his father’s eulogy.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.