Look in the mirror

I know several people that are amazed at how good-natured my wife is concerning my bad habit of occasionally poking fun at her. In fact many of our close friends have wondered, (sometimes aloud to both of us), why in the world she puts up with me. She has endured me and my perverted sense of humor for nearly 38 years now. And that is not my only idiosyncrasy that she endures; I will not do dishes either. They are nasty and foul looking and smelling and I would throw them away before I would wash them or put them in a dishwasher. I dislike the detail of what I consider being mundane tasks and refuse to go to the bank, pay bills, go to a grocery store, vacuum, help out with laundry or even pickup laundry from the cleaners. I cannot remember dates like anniversaries, birthdays, and I think Valentines Day is silly. I could go on for hours, because I have many faults and surely am not a candidate for “Perfection Man of the Year”.

I have many faults, but my wife seems to think I have a few good points too. I will not enumerate them, but she seems to think I have some. I suppose she takes the position that there is both good and bad in me, and even though I am not perfect she apparently loves me in spite of my imperfections, (or perhaps she is a masochist). In the interest of peace and quiet, I will not enumerate the things that “she” does that drive “me” up the wall, but rest assured they can make my skin crawl. (Couldn’t resist that one.)

I think that one main reason we get along so well is that we both are smart enough to realize that neither one of us is perfect. If someone is a perfectionist and demands perfection from their spouse, they will end up being disappointed as no one can live up to those rigorous expectations. And since neither is perfect themselves, how can they reasonably expect their spouse to be perfect when they are not perfect either?

The key word here is “reasonable”; some folks are just unreasonable in their expectations when it comes to others. I’m no Dr. Phil but I think that it can be safely said that it is unlikely that there is a marriage anywhere whereby both spouses do not know of something about their spouse that “drives them up the wall”. Dwelling on those faults can be a wedge that drives them apart whereby it creates arguments and constant sniping and nagging on a daily, hourly, or minute by minute basis. That lifestyle could drive someone all of the way to the divorce court, or in some extreme cases even to murder. Those same faults can also just simply be overlooked and taken with a grain of salt. This approach more often results in peace and quiet around the household, and a long lasting friendship and harmonious marriage.

Take a moment and think real hard about what idiosyncrasy that your spouse has that just drives you up the wall. Obviously they are not perfect.

Now be honest and think of some idiosyncrasy about “you” that drives your spouse up the wall. Now ask yourself if you are perfect.

Obviously you are not perfect either; (if you answered, “Yes I am perfect”, then your imperfection is that you are delusional).

Now cut each other some slack, nip the sniping and nagging in the bud and keep on smiling!

Matt. 7:3
And why do you look at the
speck in your brother’s eye, but do
not consider the plank in your own
eye

Hypocrite! First remove the
plank from your own eye, and then
you will see clearly to remove
the speck from your brother’s
eye.