Nice guys come in first

One of my sons recently told me that as a youngster he always hated to hear me say one of my favorite sayings, “nice guys always come in last” and that he did not agree with that philosophy, but now after having seen a few employees take terrible advantage of him and go on to harm the company that he loves so much, he no longer thinks that way. I have to admit that I have said that saying on more than one occasion, much more when I was younger than lately, but I also have used profanity and made a myriad of other mistakes too and my advice to him is not to take everything I say to heart. I came up tough and had a mean streak in me through and through and often wanted to fight. Being nice was for “candies” and I wanted no part of it. As my hair has begun to whiten and God’s spiritual wisdom slowly edges out worldly foolish stupidity I have recognized this approach as being wrong. Being nice is not the root cause of people taking advantage of others. Good is good and evil is evil. Good overcomes evil not vice versa.

I suppose that I would modify my advice especially to a business owner or manager now to say,”Naive guys always come in last”. In other words if you allow it, people can and unfortunately will take advantage of you, so don’t be naive about it and allow it. That does not mean that you cannot be nice. If we adhere to the golden rule we will treat others as we would like to be treated. That does not mean that you will not address mistakes, just that you will attempt to do it in a nice and respectful way. If I make a mistake, I would fully expect a consequence to be rendered. I always try to be fair, friendly, but firm in addressing mistakes and administering discipline. Some of the employees who hear me page them and ask them to step in my office are apprehensive and intimidated. This is due to the fact that I have not always mastered the art of being a nice guy and sometimes my temper has gotten the best of me and while I believe I have been fair and firm, I have not always mastered the art of being friendly at these times.

This is not strength but a weakness and fortunately I have mellowed substantially with age and much strengthened this weakness. I have advised my boys to take the mellow but firm approach and now try my best to do so as well. Make no mistake that it is extremely difficult at times to deal with the scumbags of the world in a nice way, especially in the heat of battle. Some have evil dripping from their fingers and as flesh we want to just smack them upside the head. Fair, friendly, but firm Fair, friendly, but firm… Fair friendly but firm…

Who is the nicest person that you have ever known? Jesus Christ comes to my mind. All he ever did was help people, encourage them, heal them, forgive them and even gave His life for us. He is in first place and will remain there forever. Nice guys don’t come in last, they come in first.

Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as much as depends
on you, live peaceably with
all men.