Tough policy to follow

I watched an interview with Senator John McCain and was very impressed with his capacity to forgive. He forgives the Vietnamese who tortured him as a POW in the Vietnam war, Jane Fonda who made the wrong choice of sitting on an anti-aircraft gun facing our troops and making “Hanoi Jane” style tapes to torment our troops while he was near death in the Vietnamese prison, Hanoi Hilton. He forgives political opponents who talk bad about him, and even when pressed Mc Cain does not say anything bad about anyone including his enemies. He states that he has made too many mistakes himself to not forgive others who make them.



Not long ago a friend of mine told me he could not accept the teachings of Jesus because he had trouble with the forgiveness issue. Some folks in his mind are not worthy of forgiveness and their mistakes and horrible behavior are of such severity that they just do not deserve forgiveness. He cannot buy in to someone murdering a family and then having their sins forgiven. As with everything, I look to God for an example as to how we should handle the subject of forgiveness in our lives. Forgiveness is conditional with God. God requires that we repent from our sins and “ask” for forgiveness. If someone does not repent or ask for forgiveness and accept the sacrifice of Jesus as payment for their sin debt, they will not be forgiven. If they do, no matter how heinous the crime, they can be forgiven. (God punishes sin and this is not to say they are not punished, but it is to say that they are granted forgiveness.)



Can we use this logic in our daily lives? I have a close relative who “greatly” wronged me. As a result I have not seen or spoken one word to them in 12 years, nor do I have a desire to see them. As far as I am concerned this person does not exist. I have been criticized by other family members for not forgiving this person and re-establishing our relationship. I disagree. The person has never once apologized for the wrong they did to me nor have they demonstrated any interest whatsoever in re-establishing relations and to my knowledge would not be interested in receiving forgiveness from me even if I did give them a call or send them a letter one day. Why should I forgive someone who does not desire it? I am “willing” to forgive them and sincerely think that I would do so if “they” approached me and asked for or even showed the slightest interest in bringing about some kind of reconciliation, but until that happens I continue to go my way and they go theirs.



Somehow this does not seem to be the attitude that God intended. The Bible has much to say about forgiveness including that if we do not forgive others, how can we expect to be forgiven. Honestly I do not know if mine is a Christian attitude, or my stubborn pride is trying to rationalize my behavior. I suspect the latter and admittedly I am still mad about what was done to me.



I continue to research the Bible and pray about it, but nothing so far.
Sometimes there are no clear answers, but often when an issue keeps bothering us from time to time it is God’s gentle voice in the background urging us to pray harder and look deeper. When total peace descends upon us we know we have the right answer. I suspect I should probably take the first step and at least see what happens, but to tell you the truth it would be very difficult to do so. How about you? Got anybody that you have a hard time forgiving in your war chest? Are you warring with yourself over whether or not you should go the second mile with them? Join the club…





Matt. 5:38

You have heard it said

“An eye for an eye and a tooth for

a tooth.”

But I tell you not to resist an

evil person. But whoever slaps you

on your right cheek, turn the other

to him also.







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For a great Bible research tool, visit http://bible.gospelcom.net/bible

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