Its hard to do, but it works!

For years I struggled with trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. When I am told that someone has done something wrong, or if presented with some initial information that seems to indicate that they have wronged me, my first reaction is to get mad. Sometimes it is very difficult to have enough patience and discipline to wait until I hear BOTH sides of a story before taking action. I counsel my managers often and warn them about this very thing. Through the years I have been able to improve dramatically in this area, but dependent upon what I am told and who is telling me, I sometimes jump the gun. Invariably when I do, I end up deeply regretting it and having to apologize to someone for not giving them the benefit of the doubt.

I once had a boss who taught me a valuable lesson that I have never forgotten and barring the contraction of Alzheimers will never forget.
He told me when I get mad at someone to sit down and write them a letter. “Don’t hold back anything” he said, “Tell them everything that you think about the subject and then some”. Then he told me something that is very important that you do not want to forget! He said, “And after you have written this letter, tear it up”. I have never regretted taking this advice. I have often regretted not taking it! I have sent some strong letters in my time and have regretted sending every single one of them.

But what if after checking the story, we find that we have indeed been wronged? Occasionally even after checking both sides of the story you will find that someone has wronged you. Jesus instructed us to forgive them and leave the payback to His capable hands. Again this may prove difficult to do, because our natural inclination is to take matters into our own hands and exact some payback upon them. God warns us about this logic more than once in the Bible. He does so for a reason. We just hurt ourselves more. Nothing positive will ever come out of our exacting vengenance upon our enemies. We must leave judgement and punishment to the Lord. It is out of our hands.

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Matt. 7:1
Judge not, that you be not
judged.
For with what judgement you
judge, you will be judged; and with
the measure you use, it will be
measured back to you.
Romans 12:19
Beloved do not avenge yourselves,
but rather give place to
wrath; for it is written, “Vengenance
is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
Therefore
“If your enemy is hungry, feed
him;
If he is thirsty, give him a
drink;
For in so doing you will heap
coals of fire on his head.



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