Forgiveness

A question that is often raised in WFTD goes something like: “Should we automatically grant forgiveness even if the person who offended us has not shown repentance and/or apologized or shown remorse?” I receive a ton of advice on this subject. A couple of the best replies are as follows:

“I think that had you had the Bible you would have read that you should forgive whether the person repents or ask for forgiveness. We studied this at length in Ladies Bible study a few years ago. Forgiveness was a very hard lesson for me to accept. I think when you don’t forgive someone for wronging you, you do more harm to yourself that the person does to you. I feel like you should forgive people whether they ask for your forgiveness or apologize to you. You will be a better (and happier) person for it. Just my opinion. (PS: Just because you forgive them doesn’t mean you forget it. You can just handle it better for yourself).”

Another person wrote:

“Over the years, the Lord has impressed upon me that we are responsible to Him for our behavior only, and what other folks do is between them and Him. He says that if we don’t forgive others, he won’t forgive us.
There’s nothing in there about whether they repent or not. We are free to choose to forgive people. I used to think that I had to feel forgiveness to have really obeyed God, but I believe now that forgiveness is a choice that we make, and He will honor that by changing how we feel…”

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I do have a Bible before me now and to tell you the truth, Jesus does tell us to “rebuke” the offending party and “if” he repents, forgive him.

Luke 17:3
“Take heed to yourselves. If
your brother sins against you,
rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive
him.
And if he sins against you seven
times in a day, and seven times in a
day returns to you saying ‘I
repent,’ you shall forgive him.”

But as I browsed through the many references to forgiveness in the Bible there are many more passages similar to the one below. My feeling is based upon everything I have read that we should forgive the person and forget about it, which I have done.


__________________________
“And whenever you stand
praying, if you have anything against
anyone, forgive him, that your
Father in heaven may also forgive you
your trespasses.
But if you do not forgive,
neither will your Father in heaven
forgive your trespasses.”
_________________________

Now, however, a question arises in my mind as to whether the offended party (me) should try to reconcile myself to the offending party, who has expressed no interest in any of this? Am I to go to him and say, “You haven’t asked for forgiveness, however I forgive you anyway for repeatedly lying to me for months and trying to bankrupt me by destroying my business, I want to be friends again”?