I’ve noticed that often all is not bliss when it comes to holidays and spending time with extended family. A friend told me he was going to a Thanksgiving celebration with 60 of his relatives. I wryly asked if security for the event was affordable and had already been arranged; I assumed that at least two fulltime deputies would be required there 24/7.
One of the most difficult things in this life is keeping peace in the family. Everything ranging from petty jealousies to outright dislike is common in families, just like in society at large.
Much of this stems from the way we view each other. It reminds me of a two way mirror. Stand on the “see through” side and you can take a good hard look at others, including all of their imperfections. The problem with many is that they fail to stand on the reflective side too, and therefore never take a good hard look at their own imperfections.
Also people sometimes just fail to understand that we are different from each other. One of my sons is quiet and reserved and the other is vocal and outgoing. They both tend to be intolerant of each other. It would be most helpful for them to understand that God created us with different traits because He didn’t want a bunch of identical clones, (I assume because we would be boring beyond tears).
Getting mad at someone because they are an introvert or an extrovert is as silly as getting mad because it rains. Getting angry doesn’t stop the rain. Might as well cheer up and enjoy the refreshing shower.
Often there are legitimate gripes; however most could be resolved if properly addressed. Just like in life at large however; some folks seem to prefer to harbor them and allow them to fester like a burr under a saddle. They never remove the burr and it keeps on irritating and irritating until it becomes an infected wound that might never heal.
Perhaps that is the most frustrating thing to me, because I like to resolve small problems before they become large problems. I’ve found that in order to do that we must first identify the problem, calmly discuss it, find a solution, and then put something in place to try and ensure that it does not reoccur. The obstacle here is that it takes two to tango.
I detest not knowing what ails someone. They just glare at you like you have wronged them greatly and when you ask them what’s wrong, they curtly utter, “NOTHING!” indicating that EVERYTHING is wrong but they aren’t about to attempt to resolve it with you …
The Bible tells us that in as much as it is up to us we should try and get along with everyone. Of course the second greatest command in the entire Bible according to Jesus is to love each other in such a manner that is second only to our love for God. How much more so should we love our family members?
It is really sad for families to fuss and fight. I’m close to someone who lost all three of her grown children to tragic deaths one by one over a period of just a few short years. Imagine how it must make her feel to reflect back on those times that petty grievances ruined what little time they were able to spend with each other.
If you are still with family this holiday weekend and/or preparing to spend time during Christmas, don’t dread it. Make plans now to enjoy time with your family. Recognize that we all are different Understand that God is the one who designed us to be different and that has to mean there is a perfect reason or number of reasons for it, and importantly that they are imperfect just like you are. Be tolerant and love your family while you can.
I often hear, “I just wish everyone could get along with each other.” My life’s verse is, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. If I employ God’s commands and try my best to get along and treat others as I would like to be treated, I should be able to achieve that goal, provided it’s within God’s will to occur at this time.
I cannot say this without adding the caveat that there must be consequences for poor behavior. I don’t believe that God intends for Christians to be “whipping boys and girls”, be it family or otherwise. There may come a time after forgiving them to to lovingly shake the dust off your feet to those incorrigibles who think they can treat people shabbily forever with impunity. Maybe rejecting them and their poor behavior is just what they need in order to demonstrate that they cannot get away indefinitly with bad or rude behavior.
We can in Christ-like loving kindness still forgive them their misdeeds without cohabitating with them. I prefer isolation to the chaotic evil of constant turmoil. I would rather just not be around someone who is determined to be a spoiler. Better to be alone in a corner of my house than subject myself to their abuse is my motto. When confronted with some situations I resolve myself to hate the sin, but love the sinner. I will not subject myself to endless abuse and if I cannot enjoy my peace among them, I will separate myself from them.
Are the verses below, as Paul Harvey might say “The rest of the story”, concerning the Apostle Paul’s statement, “In as much as it’s up to you, try and get along with everyone”?
Have a great weekend and go to church this Sunday.
Matt. 10:17
If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you.
Matt. 10:14
If any household or town refuses to welcome you or listen to your message, shake its dust from your feet as you leave.