One of the most perplexing things to me in all of life is to be out of step with God. That is exactly where I feel that I am today. Every direction that I turn seems out of synch. Lately I have had major disappointments with people that I considered to be good friends acting weird; the marketing effort for my book, Miracle on Luckie Street, has been ineffective and floundering; I will begin my 12th year of sending out WFTD in June and I’m still getting angry letters daily about one thing or another regarding it; I spoke at a church last night to several hundred people and felt like I really gave it my all, and yet not one person came forward to accept Christ as their Savior
Sigh…Lots of spiritual disappointments are weighing me down to the point of discouragement. Yikes! It’s hard to stay encouraged when every direction that I turn I seem to run afoul of monsters.
My wife and I were trying to understand someone we know who is very moody. One day this person will be in a great mood and an absolute pleasure to be around, and the next day their mood is dark and sour and they will take your head off if you dare cross their path. She told me, “You wake up in a good mood and are optimistic every morning without fail”. She quickly laughingly added, “Dependent upon what is going on you might not stay that way for very long, but at least you start out in a great mood every day”.
Yep, she is right on the mark with those comments. At least 99% of the time I begin my day in a great mood only to become foul if some knucklehead does something nutty, but not today. Today I have the blues.
I feel that perhaps God wants me to change directions in my life and I don’t have the foggiest idea of what it might be. I have been there before and it is not pleasant to have that uneasy nagging feeling and not enjoy the complete peace that comes when we are in complete harmony with Jesus Christ and His purpose for our lives.
Fortunately I do know the solution to my problem. I must go to God in prayer and listen intently. I need to be patient and await His answer. I know from experience that God is not like a fast food restaurant where I place my order at one window and then drive to the next and pick up my order a minute or so later. No, discerning the will of almighty God is quite a different process. He answers prayer at a time of His choosing and not ours. He is Almighty God and I answer to Him and not vice versa. I don’t demand; I ask and then patiently await his answer.
I think He delays His advice sometimes because He wants me to think my situation completely through, and consider things from more than one perspective using His Holy word the Bible as a guide. Also He wants me to deeply reflect upon what He wants me to accomplish versus what I might want to accomplish. He wants me to examine my inner motives thoroughly to ensure my desires are pure and not selfish or self centered.
Let me give you a practical example. To say the least I have a unique testimony. Should I focus on giving it to college students, businessmen, prisoners, recovering addicts, Christians, or some combination? God has brought me through thick and thin in life for His unique purpose, what is that purpose and what does He want me to do with my life?
Maybe God doesn’t want me to speak at churches and considers it a waste of time. Maybe He prefers that I enter the prison yards to offer hope to the hopeless, or perhaps I should focus on elementary schools where men and women can be built rather than repaired.
If only God would sit down on the couch with me and gently tell me just exactly what the heck He wants me to do with myself and my testimony.
Alas He has not chosen to converse with me in such a manner; and therefore I must dig it out of Him on my own. I remember Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, “…He fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.'”
I need to fall with my face to the ground and earnestly pray about it. I might not always understand the way God has set up His world, but who am I to question it? In the end God’s way is perfect and that means that struggling to find His purpose for my life is the perfect way to go about it. Thus I will put my sword away and stop fighting Him and concentrate on listening to Him with a much better frame of mind and attitude.
Hmmm… I feel better now. Thanks for sitting in on my psych therapy session today…
John 18:11
Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”