Nuetral zone

Recently I was caught right smack dab in the middle of an ugly dispute. I have friends on both sides of the dispute and I did not relish this role. The two sides have been fighting it out in a serious contractual dispute for some length of time and it was getting to the point of boiling over. My desire was to remain 100% neutral and to keep my head low. Both parties are not only good business partners, but I also consider them both to be personal friends.

I called one of my friends on one side of the dispute early last week to discuss doing some unrelated business with him on another matter. During our conversation, the person that I called, related that he had something he needed to discuss with me, but that I would need to keep it entirely confidential. After I agreed, he related that he was afraid that the dispute with my other friend’s company was spiraling towards a complete meltdown and that there was a good chance that he was going to break relations with him. If he did so, he would need our company to help him make the transition from my friend’s company managing his operation, (including our company’s technology), to him managing his operation on his own. He told me that nothing was for sure and that they were still negotiating far above his “pay scale” and there was still hope that a deal could be struck, but that he wanted me to “think about it” and be prepared to act quickly if things continued heading south.

I was sick to hear this I do a lot more business with the party that was on the verge of having their contract cancelled than my other friend and I know that they have a first class company and my natural inclination was to give them a “heads-up”, but I had given my word. To make a long story short, they did not work out there problems and it now appears as though their differences have galvanized to a point of a parting of the ways and barring a last minute miracle it is inevitable, and it has in fact been announced.

I dreaded what would come next. Sure enough the next thing I know I am getting a call from my other friend and he wants to know when I knew about this and why I did not tip him off concerning my conversation. I relayed that I could not do so because I had given my word. My friend pushed it further and made it known that he was disappointed that I had not acted in what he considered to be good faith as a partner and friend.

I asked him if the situation was reversed and he had told me that he wanted to share something with me, but that I first had to promise to keep it confidential, and then later I violated my word and shared it anyway, what would he think of me then? I hope this argument made some headway with him, as it is a cornerstone of my being. My word is my bond and if I tell somebody that I will do something, you can take it to the bank that I will do it to the utmost of my being. I am not apologetic about it; in fact I am proud of the fact that I tell the truth. My “natural” instinct was to tip him off and thereby protect my relationship, but my higher spiritual instinct told me to remain steadfast and true and to honor my word and maintain my character.

Our company has done a tremendous amount of business with this person’s company and it is a safe bet that any future business could now be in jeopardy. My comment to him is that I value our personal relationship as well as the business that his company sends our way, but my personal integrity means more to me than all of the business in the world. I am genuinely remorseful that they could not work out there differences and tried my utmost to convince them to work it out, but apparently they were too far apart to find common ground.

I have racked my brain trying to think how I could have handled it differently. My friend stated that perhaps I could have convinced the other party to give me permission to go to them and relay that things were at a critical point so that they might recognize that it had reached ground zero and they would have one final chance at negotiating a settlement. I agreed that was an excellent idea and made perfect sense; however I did not think of it at the time and he had the luxury of crystal clear 20/20 hindsight.

Sometimes it is difficult to be a Christian and to take the high road. In fact it can affect you monetarily and you can even lose friends because of it. To me there never was a choice and I was never even tempted to break my word over this matter; albeit my flesh reminded me of the materialistic consequence. I hope my friend will reflect upon this and after he has had time to get over his disappointment of losing this business will realize that I acted as he would have wanted me to act. Personally I would not want to do business with someone who broke their word and was in effect a liar and I know he would not either.

Lying was fathered by satan; it comes from him and is evil. When you think about it satan convinced Eve to commit the original sin that got us all in this mess in the first place by convincing her with a lie that if she disobeyed God she would be a God herself. Stay true to your word even if you must suffer some short term consequences, and don’t look back. You will never regret it, because this comes directly from God Himself.

Zec. 8:16
These are the things you are to do: Speak
the truth to each other