I am among the world’s worst at accepting help. Currently I have two very large trees that fell on my fence. I have heavy equipment to remove it, but it is a two or three person job to do so because a chain saw will be required to cut it into smaller, more manageable, pieces with an equipment operator lifting it off the fence.
So last night my neighbor who knew about my situation called and told me that he and another neighbor would be happy to help me remove the trees. I stammered around for a few minutes, and finally told him that would be great. Before doing so I put up a battle telling him I didn’t want to impose on anyone and felt bad about the two of them taking time to come over and help me. I could tell he was disappointed and really wanted to help. When I finally acquiesced, I thanked him so profusely he acted embarrassed by it.
I have no idea why I am like that. He truly wanted to help me and had to talk me into allowing it. I don’t know if this comes from my abused childhood and determination that I didn’t need anyone or what, but I don’t like that aspect of my personality and am trying to get better at it.
Several years ago, a friend offered to help me with a project on my boat. I was trying to lift some things far too heavy and awkward for one person and clumsily trying to do a two-man job by myself to avoid having to ask anyone for help. I had many friends that would have been more than happy to come help me, but I didn’t ask. So, a friend who had stopped by my house to say hi saw me struggling, he hopped in the boat and volunteered to help. When I said, “That’s okay I can manage” he got angry at me and told me not to deprive him of his “blessing”. Yikes I didn’t ever think of it that way. He wanted to help me and considered it a blessing to help someone and I was standing in his way. Hmmm…I’m such an idiot sometimes.
Recently a friend sent me an excerpt from a book written by former White House politician and famed prison ministry advocate, Chuck Swindoll, that helped me think through my problem.
He said in part, “The 4 toughest words for most people to say is, I need your help.” “That decision often develops maturity. It reinforces that people need one another – not just when they’re young and starting out, but their entire lives.”
Nobody is a whole chain.
Each one is a link.
But take away one link and the chain is broken.
Nobody is a whole team.
Each one is a player.
But take away one player and the game is forfeited.
Nobody is a whole orchestra.
Each one is a musician.
But take away one musician and the symphony is incomplete…
You guessed it.
We need each other.
You need someone and someone needs you.
Isolated islands we’re not.
We are not rocks, we have feelings
To make this thing called life, work, we gotta lean and support.
And relate and respond.
And give and take.
And confess and forgive.
And Reach out and embrace.
And release and rely . . .
Since none of us is a whole, independent, self-sufficient, super-capable, all-powerful hotshot, let’s quit acting like we are.
Life’s lonely enough, without our playing that silly role.
The game’s over. Let’s link up”.
In reality we are told by none other than Jesus to work together. He did not send His disciples out solo but in pairs to spread the Gospel and always surrounded Himself with people. The Bible is literally full of instructions including “a three braided cord is not easily broken” and similar passages. It all begins in our mind. Don’t allow Satan the pleasure of creeping inside your mind and putting foolish thoughts in it.
Proverbs 23:7
“For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”