Yesterday I was talking to my part-time helper on the farm Willie, who is African American and probably 60 years old. He helps me around the farm now and then and mows my huge yard in the summertime. I greeted him with a booming “Good morning Willie”. He barely acknowledged and I asked how he was doing. He hung his head and started griping about his various ailments and life. I stopped him midsentence and said, “Willie it’s a beautiful morning with a nice little breeze. You are alive and out here splitting wood with a hydraulic wood splitter. So many people cannot even walk or even get out of bed but look at you. You drove a nice truck over here and are enjoying God’s world free of charge. You are blessed, my man!”
He looked at me sheepishly and said, “You know Mr. Bob you are exactly right. I ‘gots’ no reason to be singing the blues. Thanks for setting me straight this morning”. Contrast that attitude with a guy with whom I am an acquaintance. He was a pharmaceutical rep and made very good money comparatively speaking. The problem was he worked exclusively with doctors for years and saw their lavish lifestyles and material possessions and try as he might, he couldn’t keep up and he got sick with the covetous malady. His wife exacerbated the situation by belittling him in public about his inability to buy her big rings and luxury vehicles like Dr. So and so. I got tired of listening to it one day and told him he was in the top 3% worldwide and had more “stuff” than billions of people and he should be thankful. He looked at me and coldly said, “I don’t care about those people. Let them starve. I care about ME!
Yesterday I wrote about the empty nest syndrome. I got many letters from folks who had experienced a similar situation. One wrote: This was a special message for us. My wife and I are 65. She still has her mother and I still have my father. They live in CA. We have a son who became a pastor in Minnesota, so we purchased a small home to be near he and his family. We have another son in Northern California, so we put a trailer on his property (a property we helped him purchase). We are chasing our kids and grandchildren, and while they all love us, they are often too busy to answer their phones or texts.
When my mother passed last year, we decided to try and spend more time near our remaining parents. Our parents used to have so many important things to do for others, but now each of them spends most of their time alone and just not wanting to bother anyone. They don’t look forward to needing others to take care of them. They miss their loved spouses. Your thoughts today (and yesterday) struck home. If we are setting an example to our children, perhaps it is best to be good to our parents, especially in these last and lonely days of their lives. We are not enjoying our Golden Years quite as much as we always hoped, as we begin to understand the Tiredness of Life you spoke of yesterday. But, like you, God has given us much to do and we are often thanked and reminded of that, with Joy.
Another wrote: I read this with tears. We have three children. One is very successful and has no time for us. I think he is a faithful husband and a wonderful father. He goes to church regularly and does volunteer work for them. We love him dearly, and I think he loves us, but he just doesn’t have time for us. The other two are loving and devoted. What did we do wrong with the one? I pray for him daily, and I know that if he doesn’t have time for me here we will meet again in heaven and all will be great then.
I don’t think this lady did anything wrong. She experienced the same thing many others experience. I hope she will take took comfort in knowing that there are folks who are facing the same thing all over the world. Of course, I have the advantage of reading letters from all over the world and know that there are people struggling not just in the U.S. but even in China, Africa, Pakistan, and all over the world and I realize that folks everywhere are struggling with growing old.
As evidenced by 2030, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 20% of the population will be of retirement age. By 2034, seniors will outnumber children for the first time in U.S. history. That’s an awful lot of old people confronting the physical, cognitive, and emotional frailties that come with age, not to mention the cold reality that the older you get the closer you come to, well, the end of the line.
Well, so what? Life is what it is. No, things don’t always go the way we desire, and we ALL suffer at some point. But we must keep in mind that every last one of us suffers but we understand it is for a short season and is interlaced with good times. God is moving us toward the everlasting peace for which we long at a seemingly slow pace but nonetheless, we are moving in that direction. One day we will enjoy perfection made possible by His Son Jesus and suffering will cease and never be experienced again. Until then we should try to smile on those bad days and grin widely on the good. No, we will not be perfect until Christ returns. Somehow this makes me feel better, and I hope the same goes for you.
Romans 5:10
For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, how much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by this life?