November 4, 2019 – Click here to listen
Up until a couple of weeks ago I had all but stopped giving my testimony and had become convinced that perhaps I was too old and “yesterday’s news.” A man, Barry Haindel, called me out of the blue to try and convince me to come and be his keynote speaker at a prayer breakfast event he was putting together in New Orleans. I was incredibly busy with moving, transitioning CEO responsibilities for The Jesus Alliance to my successor, and told Harry as much. Additionally, I told him I had too many bad memories of New Orleans including my only sibling, my brother Jim committing suicide there not to mention being imprisoned in Parrish Prison there. I told him I felt New Orleans was a demonic stronghold in which I did not even care to visit, and besides the macular degeneration of my eyes make it difficult to see at night and I cannot drive.
Harry had an answer for everything. He told me he watched a video of my testimony and it was and always would be relevant, he gently reminded me that there were many lost souls in his parish and not to worry about driving as he would have a driver who would pick me up and deliver me back to the airport. Although he knew I was busy, what is more important than lost souls who need hope via Jesus Christ.
Ouch!
At that point I could hardly refuse and agreed to fly down there and do my best. Long story short, the Holy Spirit moved mightily during my talk and from what I understand my testimony struck home with many, many people that day. Since then several people who were not in attendance and did not even know about it began contacting me and urging me to get back on the speaking circuit. I got some spiritual goosebumps over that as I took it as an affirmation from God that I should do so. One of my friends who has an amazing testimony himself told me that the way he saw it my testimony and his belong to the Lord. He told me that my experiences and the transformation of my life was not solely for MY benefit, but to offer hope to OTHERS who have lost all hope. He then asked if I remembered what that was like.
I thought about it and slowly responded, “Yes, I remember.” I thought back to the time that I wanted to die and was preparing to commit suicide myself. I was miserable, alone, wanted by the police, and sick and tired of my life. Then I thought of God offering His grace and rescuing me from myself and the evil I had become. What if someone with a story like mine had come along and encouraged me to follow Jesus as an alternative to the lifestyle I was living?
I went to church yesterday and saw hundreds and hundreds of young people singing and praising the Lord. They were holding their hands in the air and literally as joyful as one might imagine. The contrast of my youth and these kids was stark. Unfortunately, we have a long way to go because literally millions of young people are miserable, bitter, and addicted to sin just like I was. Satan tried to convince me to give up speaking, but several young people came up to me after my talk and sincerely thanked me for caring enough to come speak to them. To a person all of them vowed to follow Jesus. I felt ashamed, because I had to nearly be knocked down and dragged down there. I have begun anew to keep going until I can no longer keep going. I trust the Lord will open opportunities for me to speak again and hope to do so at my earliest opportunity.
Next time you find yourself starting to let Satan control your thoughts to put doubts and fears in your minds, remember that God is with you always. This is His promise to those who live within His will.
Isaiah 41:10
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”