I spent Christmas morning reading several letters sent to me by inmates in various prisons around the country. I was in tears by the third letter. As I read I envisioned them sitting locked up in their lonely cells writing to me, desperate to find a friend who cares that they exist and refuses to sit in judgment of them for past mistakes.
Some folks say they are getting what they deserve and they should have thought about the harsh realities of being in prison especially at Christmas time before they committed crimes. My comment to anyone of that persuasion is unless you have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes it is wise to refrain from such statements. Most of the inmates I’ve encountered through the years were severely abused during their childhoods, lived a life of instability and brutality, and were never loved. Though not everyone who came from such difficult circumstances ends up on the wrong side of the law, many deal with their difficult situations through anger and depression and turn to alcohol, drugs, and crime in an effort to escape.
I’ve never met anyone who set out with a goal of becoming a drug addict, alcoholic, or criminal. Most are swept away by a tsunami of bad experiences beginning at birth. Some of them had parents in prison when they were growing up and sadly followed in their parent’s footsteps.
Texas corrections expert E. Mosely wrote:
When a loved one is sentenced to prison, the emotional turmoil is difficult for everyone to handle. Perhaps the heaviest burden is felt by those who are unintentional victims of crime – children of incarcerated parents.
Nationally, 7.3 million children have at least one parent in jail or prison. Sadly, 70 percent of these kids are doomed to follow in the same footsteps as their parents, becoming imprisoned at some point in their lives. In fact, children of incarcerated parents are five times more likely than their peers to commit crimes. However, these at-risk children are largely ignored before they get in trouble.
So what becomes of these children whose mother and/or fathers are locked up? Often, they are left to fend for themselves emotionally and the stress of child-rearing falls on a grandmother, usually, or another surrogate parent or the children may end up in protective services. These hardships manifest in the children in mental health issues like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and feelings of abandonment, said psychotherapist Dr. Janice Beal. Also, children go through a grieving process. “One thing I continuously see is depression among this population. The children (of incarcerated parents) express a lot of anger and a lot of aggressive behavior and some anxiety,” Beal said. “Children express depression different from adults. They don’t verbalize it and say, ‘ I feel sad right now.’ They usually act out their behaviors.
One inmate who’d read an article about me in the magazine, Victorious Living, that is published for and distributed to, inmates to give them hope and encouragement wrote: “I too was abused at a young age.” He briefly discussed what kind of impact that had on his life, and then he mentioned that both his mother and father have passed, but he is still tormented with futile attempts to forgive them for abusing him as he remembers beating after beating. Then he said “I got saved at 17, but went off the deep end; now I’m 57 and have spent much of my life imprisoned, and I’ve made a mess of myself. Then a bright spot emerged: “I am definitely struggling, but NOT FAILING – As you have said Phil. 4:13 states: ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’”
He wrote that aside from doing hard time in prison, the most difficult thing was that because of his poor choices and mistakes he has burned every bridge and relationship he has ever had and now finds himself completely alone. He wrote: “The biggest fear I’ve ever known is being alone in this world. The greatest peace I know is being alone with God.”
He elaborated that like me he is an insomniac and late at night when everyone else is asleep it provides him time to be alone with God and he immensely enjoys those times with God, but he has no one here on this earth. He said in prison he is surrounded with people that inside the walls are called “associates”, but there is no one he can call a friend. He said he was sick of the violence, lack of compassion, and empathy for others he sees inside and asked me to pray that God would give him a friend who was morally sound and would take an interest in his life.
He stated “I have no one in my life. I need a true friend who wants to be a part of my life and me in theirs. I’ve prayed and prayed for God to bring me a true friend, someone who knows what I go through. I want so badly to have someone love me. I admit it hurts so much and my burden is heavy. I try to turn it over to Jesus daily, but it is so difficult.”
He asked me to be his friend and I am sending him an inscribed book and will be his friend as best I can; however, with my schedule I can’t be much of one. His name is Russell and he is incarcerated near Live Oak Florida. I ask you to take a moment right now and pray for him and ask God to fulfill this need in his life in this Christmas season. Ask Jesus to fill him with hope, love, peace, and joy and to bring a friend to him who can spend some time with him.
I’m so fortunate that God intervened in my life and rescued me from that lifestyle. At this special time of year look at your own upbringing including your family and friends and then thank God almighty for smiling upon you and showing you favor. Remember, but for the grace of God you could be like my new friend Russell. One of my favorite passages is below. I hope you will read it and at this special time of our celebration of the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, that you will be moved to act out your love for Christ through ministering to those less fortunate. Jesus said of the two greatest commandments: “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” Is this just idle talk with you, or words to live by? Selah . . .
Matt. 25:37
I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you visited Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? When did we see You sick or in prison and visit You?’ And the King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.’
December 26 2016 – Click here to listen