April 5, 2021 – Click here to listen
I was talking to a buddy of mine recently and the subject of divorce came up. He was laughing that three of his four kids were either divorced or going through one. This seemed odd to me because he has been married over 50 years. It seems he could have passed on some of his secrets to success and he would be dismayed about so much heartache in his family, instead of laughing about it.
My three sons get along extremely well in their marriages and so far, there are no divorces. During decades of prison ministry I learned that 82% of incarcerated men grew up in fatherless homes, it was the rule rather than exception. Divorce is no laughing matter to kids. I continue to pray that none of my sons and my grandchildren ever go through it
As we talked about our grandchildren, he told me that some of his are not doing that well. Duh! Without exception, all of my grandchildren are very successful in every way. They all excel in scholastics, sports, and have friends galore. Most importantly they love Jesus and will lead a prayer at the dinner table like a pastor. But I wanted to approach it with humility, so I just remained silent on the subject.
Candidly I don’t know how to approach someone about this subject. Tim Keller wrote, “The Christian Gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. It undermines both swaggering and sniveling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself or less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.”
My friend, unfortunately, is an atheist. I have spoken to him about Jesus but it is like running into a brick wall. Being full of pride and saying, “look at me and how great my life is going,” turns me off and I can only imagine what it would do to someone else. Augustine once said, It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels. I just feel that pride or the perception of it is a barrier to spiritual progress, and a proud Christian is as much a contradiction as a humble devil. But if too much humility is in play, then how can we have an impact?
Sometimes I feel helpless in trying to persuade someone, especially a person that old and who does not even believe in God that Jesus can make his life so much better. The Bible says that we should so let our light shine that others will see it and that they too will desire what we have . . . Somehow telling someone who is struggling in some area of their life that your life is going great only alienates them.
So it’s a dilemma. I would love to offer guidance and tell them how well life is working out for me, but I can’t see a way to do it without coming off as being full of the wrong side of pride.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.